It doesn’t take any effort to fall in love. Suddenly the walls you’ve built around your heart crumble and you experience what you are at your core: alive with the bliss of the heart. Suddenly your ego has evaporated and all you can think of is how to make your beloved happy.

Imagine a world where our first order of business is to make each other happy! No really—take a moment and picture that. It sounds completely utopian—impossible really—and I am here to say that we are exactly headed for that. And the best place to learn it is in our relationships.

Just one ‘little’ problem: what we expect in relationships makes true happiness impossible. “Some day you will find that special one who will make you happy.”  You know, the prince charming fiction. He will come and swipe you off your feet and you will be one. The whole world tells us some version of this. We are raised to believe it, it comes at us from all sides every day, and we love to believe it. It’s deep in our unconscious and it’s completely and utterly impossible.

It’s impossible because if you want to be happy for more than a short honeymoon, then this love has to come from inside you. It has to be the way you are: this openness of heart, this self-love, this inner glow of your own fulfillment. Solid, unshakable, a breath of eternity. You deserve no less.

Another person cannot give that to you. It’s an inside job and the whole world will help you to find this love, your true Self, once you understand how it ticks.  But first you’re stuck in this Neanderthal paradigm of relationships. Let’s get you out of there!

1. You will get two things from your lover and from everyone else close to you: The first thing is love and support. Yes we all go for that. And what is the second thing? We don’t want to look at it. We want to deny it. And yet we know it. It’s challenge.

Don’t you know that there isn’t one relationship in the world that isn’t challenging? As a matter of fact, in the long run, challenge is what you can count on. Love and support are optional. We have to work to keep things positive.

2. This romantic hallucination of meeting the one who will make you happy infuses you with another illusion. It’s the unconscious expectation that it’s his or her job to make you happy. Well, of course, you’ve been raised to believe that. That’s what a partner is for!

So now what do you do when the inevitable happens and you’re not happy with the relationship? Where does that take you? It cannot take you anywhere but into blame, frustration and war. After all s/he is breaking the unspoken contract. Your partner is not living up to the illusion of what you have been taught to expect.

Now you’re really in a trap. Innocently you believe the romantic nightmare. You don’t realize that no one outside you can fulfill you—simply because they’re not inside you. You are. Your heart is your business. And you’re closing it down because s/he doesn’t do what they cannot do: fulfill you.

3. And there is more. If you depend on someone else to make you happy, then there is fear. They might leave you. And then where would you be with your source of happiness gone and your life all in shambles? So you do small or large things that don’t feel right to you, just to keep him/her, just to keep the peace. You prostitute yourself, and that feels terrible, but you see no other way.

These 3 problems are universal. They are present in almost all marriages or intimate partnerships and they serve no one. Here are 3 solutions for you:

1. The Source of all true happiness is in you. It is your already existing wholeness, the fullness in the core of your heart. You have tasted it in moments before, but most of the time it is obstructed by fear, anger, stress, distractions, sadness, running after meaningless pleasures, and so on. Now you can take the steps to find true and lasting happiness by:

A. Moving your expectation for happiness from the “perfect” partner to this inner Source.
B. Freeing yourself from the inner obstructions by practicing high-level skills with the help and support of a spiritual guide and community.
C. Healing your live and nurturing yourself deeply from the inner Source of all love, until you are clear and unshakable in your own happiness.

2. Once you know that you are responsible for, and capable of, your own happiness, you can react constructively to the inevitable challenges of the relationship. You can realize that your suffering is not created by your partner. Instead it comes from your reactions to his or her behavior. You are never a victim of anything other than your own reactiveness, your own confusion, and your own blindness. To change this, to become free of the obstacles to your happiness, you need to have someone to bring your reactiveness, your hot buttons to your attention. And there is no one better on earth than your partner to show them to you!

3. Having replaced impossible expectations with awareness and gratitude you now find yourself in a relationship with the perfect mate. Your lover is the one who supports you with his love (at times) AND by showing you where you are not yet enlightened. Whenever you react, now you can do something constructive with that: you free yourself of your way of reacting.

In this process you will experience incredible intimacy. Your love will blossom as it is freed from expectation and your relationship will become a sacred dance. To any conflict there is only one possible outcome: that it will bring your closer to your Self. Being closer to your Self, being more whole, you have more love in you and therefore more love to give, freely, without expectation. And who better to share it with than your lover?

You have now moved from being stuck in the ego of suffering (“S/he will make me happy”) to the ego of aspiration. In your aspiration for freedom you will come to know the infinite Source of love in your heart step by step. It will heal all your old pain and dissolve the cycles of suffering and your ways of self-sabotage. It will set you free.

And, when the time comes, it will reveal to you the state of liberation, the ego of the sage, the one who lives in oneness with everything. In oneness with yourself, with the sky and the earth and all living things. And of course with your partner. That is true happiness, unshakable, solid and eternal.

That is the oneness and the happiness they told you to expect. They just weren’t clear about how to get there.

CLARIFICATION

My dear,

I am not a donkey

looking for a mate.

I am the soul with that great hunger

to know itself in the brilliant light

hidden inside you.

In truth

I am not even a man.

But as long as it appears so to us,

it’s a handy trick

to catch the dark thoughts

and to throw light into the room.  It’s

a tool for exposure and freedom

and a stage for practicing love.

I belong to no one,

not even myself.

My hearts’ allegiances run very deep.

My business is to burn us both

in that great fire that has consumed me

ever since the gurus’ supreme love

first inspired my heart.

We are so much more than we know.

I am that great fire

that burns each star

as an offering only to you -

only to you, who fashioned

the stars out of darkness

and wove your body

of light and of earth

so admiration and awe

could have a place in this world.

~ ©Ram Giri Braun

The ego is confusing. It’s not your enemy. And you already know that very often it isn’t your friend. It can cause a lot of trouble.

If you have too much of it, you may be blind to it—while it’s obvious to everyone else. If you have too little, you can’t function in this world.

You can’t live without an ego; you have to have one, but it isn’t real. It is created moment to moment by a conversation you have in your head: one moment you’re wonderful, the next moment you shiver in fear.

This ego, the one that’s forever busy chasing what it desires and protecting itself from what it fears, is the ego of suffering.

The ego is baffling and mystifying, and if you don’t understand it, and educate it, it will be your master, instead of the servant it is meant to be. Then it will lead you around by the nose, through a lot of pain and loss to exactly nowhere.

You’ve heard all the stuff about transcending, or even  ‘killing the ego.’ And you’ve also heard that you need ‘ego strengths.’ So what is it? Do we need to get over it, or make it strong?

The answer is: both. You think that’s paradoxical? Definitely!

Okay, lets start with the basics.

At birth you emerge into this world from what has been called “The Ground of Being,” the womb of the universe. And at death, that’s where you go. It is the Self, the alpha and the omega, spirit, THAT which many people call God.

From there you can picture the journey of your existence as a circle that begins and ends in the Ground of Being.[1]

You can then divide this circle into two halves. The first part of life is about building the ego, coming to know who you are in this short time-span of your existence; it’s about going out into the world, about self-assertion, about being some body. The second half is about returning back home to our essence, to your origins, to spirit, to Self-realization, to eternity, oneness, and truth.

The “I” changes throughout this circular journey.

We can also divide the circle into three parts, three pie shapes. In childhood the ego begins as soon as you start to think. At the beginning of thought there is a mechanism that makes you continuously relate everything in your world to this “I.” You make up this thing called “I” as you think. You believe it’s a stable ‘thing,’ but it isn’t; it’s like an optical illusion of the mind that appears real.

This first third of the journey is the pre-personal stage. The roots of your beliefs of “I am………” are laid here, good and bad. You identify with your body, your likes and dislikes, your emotional habits and your personal history. You praise yourself and experience pride, and you condemn yourself and experience guilt. Most of this is subconscious and quite automatic. You struggle to be who you think you are meant to be, and you judge yourself as to how well you think you are doing. This, as I said, is the ego of suffering.

At this stage you are unconsciously still fused with the collective mind, and your thinking is deeply conditioned. You think in the way your family or clan, religion or nation told you to think. You are under the influence of an internalized voice that sounds like a controlling and critical parent. You have not yet developed a fully independent sense of yourself, a free way to make up your own mind.

For that you have to cut the restricting ‘umbilical cords’ that bind you to the ways of your upbringing. Until you do, you do not yet have a fully functioning ego. You’re part of the group mind. You’re also still close to spirit and that gives you comfort. But the danger here is that you may be prone to fundamentalist thinking.

Once you cut the ‘umbilical cord’, you move into the self-conscious stage, become a fully rational person and see the blossoming of your personal identity. You become an independently functioning individual, a “person” in your own right. No longer bound by the fear of being rejected by your group if you were to be fully yourself, you unfold your unique gifts and abilities.

This is the culmination of what Western psychology calls the development of ego-strengths. Rational and relatively independent in your views, you act and operate in your world.

Western culture generally assumes that this is the totality and aim of human development. Once you are a strong individual, you ‘have made it’ in the eyes of our culture; you are done. Therefore, of course, most individuals do not evolve much beyond this point. They are still in the grip of the ego of suffering, and remain far removed from the nurturing reality of the true Self.

This is now changing, as more and more of us realize that the highly developed ego is not the end of the line. And the ego itself feels it, as it matures. Where it has been fascinated with material life at first, now a sense of unease arises, an existential loneliness, disconnection and lack of fulfillment, or perhaps a deep, but indistinct yearning. These can easily turn into despair and trigger addictions and relationship problems.

Such lack of fulfillment is often mistaken for regular anxiety or depression—but that is not what it is, and it should not be treated that way. The ego has to suffer this basic lack of fulfillment, because it knows deep down that it, along with the body and all its worldly achievements, is going to die—although it tries hard to ignore that fact.

But rather than despair, this is the time when the individual needs to evolve further, and only entry into the next stage, the spiritual stage of development can resolve these problems.

This brings us to the third pie shape, the trans-personal stage. This part of the journey has been deeply studied by the world’s mystical traditions. Particularly Indian Vedanta and Tibetan Buddhism have elevated this inquiry to a profound and fascinating science.

As long as you operate exclusively through your rational mind, you will remain unaware of the reality of this higher development, because it goes beyond the ego, beyond the rational mind. But it does not deny rationality; it includes and transcends it. Here the mind can evolve into intuitive intellect and into divine intelligence.

It begins with experiences that lead you into the spiritual realm. At first these moments of peace, or deep joy, or your ability to perceive a deeper truth, are fleeting. To make them more permanent, you must develop an ability for stillness. Meditation is the best known and time-honored way to do that.

The first part of the spiritual journey is the exploration of ‘spiritual wonderland.’ You are fascinated by all kinds of exciting options, collect spiritual paraphernalia, move from teacher to teacher, read many books, and, all-in-all develop a very cool spiritual ego, which is not much different at all from the rational ego. It feels special about itself, either in a good or bad way, and in that it is absolutely commonplace.

But as you explore the spiritual realm, you build another kind of ego, the ego of aspiration. Now you feel drawn to real sadhana, to committed spiritual practice. This is how you can free yourself of the shadow elements, the habits of suffering which you have acquired earlier in life and which are the true source of your pain.

The higher reaches of spiritual realization will remain hidden to you until you do this work. But with the gradual easing of unconscious tensions, and with a greater and stable peace, comes the ability to look inward.

Now a great paradigm shift begins. You realize that who or what you thought you were was in fact a mistaken identity. Yes, the ego was useful enough for a while, just like the countless other identities you have built in past lives that are now gone and forgotten. And so will this one be gone in just a few years.

Now however this is not a source of despair, but of a great aspiration. You begin to intuit that you are in truth not this puny ego with its ongoing drama and self-importance, but the true Self, and your body and mind can serve as the perfect expression of divine presence in form.

You realize that you are not the body, but a ray of divine light that is reflected in you. And, going even further, you realize that this individual ray is one with the sun, the Self, the Source of infinite light.

In the expansion of this inner experience, the ego is transformed into the ego of the sage. Where it has formerly been opaque and confused, it now becomes transparent to the light. Where it has been a dictator, if not a tyrant at times, it now becomes your faithful and reliable servant.

Through the force of continued spiritual practice, sadhana, your being becomes the conduit of divine grace. The thinking mind with its judgments and stress dissolves and gives way to the intuitive intellect, which can run your worldly affairs perfectly.

The heart remains increasingly open and, since you are internally filled by the bliss of the Self, you can love freely. Your life becomes a life of joyful service to all beings around you, in whom you recognize the same presence of God that shines in you.

This is the way to absolute peace and to the fulfillment that does not die when the body is done. It is the realization of your true and immortal identity as the Self.

The ego evolves from being the source of much trouble to being a clear lens through which the presence of God shines into this world. How is it done? What are the mechanisms that are at work in this transformation? And what is the most crucial transformation from the ego of aspiration to the ego of the sage?  That is what we will discuss in Part 2.

We invite you to watch the video: The 3 Aspects of Ego by Ram Giri.
For more information visit our website www.Skillsforawakening.com

With love and gratitude,

Ram Giri 
and the Skills for Awakening Team

You are the architect of your destiny.

There are parts of your life that are working, and others that aren’t. It is in dealing with your challenges differently, that you can find your true potential to make this new year a time of real transformation and victory!

Never mind the hype about 2012: this coming year will be exactly identical to all others in that it will give you plenty of opportunity to stay trapped in your conditioned ways of unhappiness—or not!

I can make one unfailing prediction: if your desire to change is not great enough to spur you to action, you will stay exactly the same. Your desire will remain a desire, not more. An unfulfilled hope, like you’ve had many over the years. Surface change will not work.

The reality that surrounds you is just that: a chain of opportunities, perfectly designed to help you realize your inherent freedom and bliss, your enlightened nature, your great heart.

Your challenges are not bad luck, personal failure, or a sign that the universe doesn’t care. Far from it! They come to help you realize the deeper truth: that you can be incredibly happy in life, not despite, but because of it all.

See what doesn’t work in your life for what it is: Something you have yet to master. Something that is designed to bring out the best in you, to show you the missing pieces, to awaken you. Even discouragement and hopelessness are like that: they are the beginning of courage and mastery.

You need to brace yourself therefore not against challenging events, but against your habit of staying asleep, of reacting to life’s challenges in the same old negative ways that have perpetuated your suffering in the past.

And you have insisted on staying asleep even as a profoundly caring universe has tried time and again to shake you awake.

“A profoundly caring universe?” you may say, with a rather incredulous look on your face.

Imagine a loving mother who notices her child suffering from a nightmare. She comes to wake up the child, but he resists, and, still in the grip of the nightmare, blames her for disrupting his sleep.

This mother-universe is going to try to prod you to awake this year. How will it happen? Will it be through a new love, an unforeseen good fortune, or greatly renewed strength? Or will it be a financial meltdown, a sudden loss, an illness, an accident, a moment of deep despair?

Probably some of both.

How will you use these events? How you react to them—and therefore, the result you get—is up to you.

There is a simple law in effect here. If you do nothing now to change old unconscious patterns of reacting with anger, or fear, or desire, dependency, worry, and so on, then you will react as always before, and your old patterns of suffering will be reinforced. This means you will suffer more in the future.

That’s the default mode. But by engaging in a regular high-level awakening practice now, you will avoid future suffering. Such efforts are the wisest way of investing your time and effort.

Then, when the inevitable events of life happen, you are not helpless. Instead, whatever comes will help you become more skilled, more aware, more kind, more awake. This is a masterful way to live. It is based in wisdom and love.

You can only be a victim to your own unconscious tendencies, your blindness, fear and confusion—but they can be explored and removed now.

Your old patterns of suffering are what keep you asleep. They are what can turn life into a nightmare. But, let me say it again: you are not a victim!

At your core, deeper than the troubles of life, are undisturbed peace and vast awareness, waiting to be discovered by you. You are the unconditional love in your deepest heart, which creates this dance of a world. Now make a deeper resolve than ever before to discover that and shed your pain like the worn-out skin of a snake!

Whether by default, or by aspiration, you are the architect of your own destiny. The events of this world are nothing more than the raw materials out of which you build your character and through which you either rise to freedom, or entangle yourself further in pain.

So here’s to 2012, a year, which will offer you challenges and support, exactly like any other.

And here is to you, the hero in the quest for the awakening out of the slumber of eons into the clarity of your mind and the depth of your heart.

You, the one who can make this year an epiphany, the beginning of a new world!

Happy new year!

Ram Giri
and the Skills for Awakening team

………

To assist a few committed individuals to make the best of the challenges and the grace of this new year, Ram Giri offers a 20% sale on his personal or group coaching program for 2012. Please call (305) 567-1406 or visit http://skillsforawakening.com/coach/ for more information.

This offer is valid through January 31, 2012.

There is no time better than now to remember that in your heart lies the immense potential of all the unconditional love that is possible.  And the wisdom to use it.

Imagine that!

You have a Buddha inside of you.

The second coming of Christ can take place—where else?—in your heart!

What could you do with that love, that higher awareness, if you knew how?

You could heal your own life.

• You could find peace in that busy, stressed-out mind of yours.
• You could end all the fear, sadness and guilt.
• You could help your body be healthy, strong and beautiful.
• You could actually become happy.
• You could enlighten yourself!

And it wouldn’t stop there. It would radiate from you into your relationships, into your world.

You would be the light that everyone is looking for.

Imagine that!

But you’re caught inside you. You’re caught in your negative emotions and thoughts.

You’re the sun imagining you’re a fire fly.

You’re the vast ocean, constantly worried about a little wave.

You are boxed in by your stressful thoughts and emotions. They are the prison that keeps your heart constrained until you deal with them and resolve them.

Break down that jail of your heart!

How is it done? Dissolve the obstacles at their source and don’t get caught up in why it’s the way it is. That long story of your suffering is no longer necessary.

It’s not the “why” but the “how” that matters now. How do you change what you feel, who you are, now?

Back to the tremendous healing potential of your heart, the most powerful medicine of all. How can you tap into that?

1. Take some time. Become still.
2. Go to a troubling emotion. Feel what’s going on inside you. Notice the strongest body sensation.

Do it now. Be gentle.

If you don’t go to them, how will your emotions ever heal? By talking about them, you say? You’ve tried that.

Ready to go on?

1. Be present with that sensation. Realize that it’s not a threat, ever. So what is it? It’s a part of you that needs help.
2. So go to it, OPEN up to it, and pay ATTENTION. Feel it. Be with it. That is the opposite of what you have been doing so far.
3. When you open to it and pay attention, then what happens? Notice that.

You may notice that it weakens.

Take your time, be gentle, do a little bit of it at a time. In small steps, this is the application of love to what hurts you. This is the best medicine—and you are the doctor.

The feeling may move from place to place in your body. Go with it. Be still. Give yourself this powerful but gentle healing.

So now there are two parts of you, two poles:

The first one is this stressful sensation, this complex of negative thoughts, emotions and behavior. That’s your “stuff.” Everyone has stuff.

The other pole is the depth of your heart, with its amazing healing power, its deep peace, its profound presence of unconditional love. That’s who you really are.

So can you sense your heart of hearts, the Source of healing?

And can you feel that knot in the stomach (or wherever it is), that source of pain.

Now connect the two in your mind. Imagine the immense light in your heart shining into that knot, the place of darkness, the pain.

Let the light dissolve the darkness. It will.

Stay with it, become still. Give yourself this essence of the heart, this nectar. And become totally receptive to that love, open up to it in the place of your pain.

This is true yoga, true union.

This is the holy grail of all healing. You are the cosmic lover and the human beloved. In that inner embrace you are one.

Darkness (and pain) cannot stand up for long to the light. When the light penetrates, the darkness is gone.

Love yourself enough to give you this revolutionary medicine. Be among those who know how to use the great healing power that slumbers inside you.

Merry Christmas!

With love,

Ram Giri
and the Skills for Awakening team

…

For further instruction and help, including free HeartSourcing videos and much more, go to www.SkillsforAwakening.com. Spend some time on this site and explore. And let us know how you are doing!

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The ego has two very positive aspects, the Ego of Aspiration and the Ego of the Sage. They must be used to overcome the third, the Ego of Suffering.

The root cause of the ego of suffering is fundamental ignorance. It is the delusion that, “I am this body, this mortal personality. Happiness comes from enhancing myself.” This view creates the afflictions of egoism, attachment, hatred, and fear of death.

The Ego of Suffering does not have your best interests in mind. Quite to the contrary. It only wants to enhance itself, and by that you are entangled in a merciless net of pain of your own making. This ego is a tyrant that takes you over and holds you prisoner.

At the same time it is incurably insecure, because its existence is not based on reality. It is a fabrication of confused, self-centered thoughts, only concerned about its own maintenance, the continuation of its delusion.

The emotional part of this ego is knows as the pain body, the way you unconsciously cling to pain. To put it into words, you have a hidden belief, “I am this person who is used to a certain amount of suffering. That’s who I am.” And to maintain this identity you unconsciously sabotage your happiness and bring pain to you.

Although we like to believe that we are victims of an uncaring world, the truth is that all our suffering comes from the way we unconsciously incapacitate ourselves. This is why the ego of suffering needs to be rooted out.

To do this is the job of the Ego of Aspiration. Everyone knows it already first hand. You have experienced it in moments of deep peace, of unconditional love, or during flashes of great happiness. Although most people miss their true meaning, these incidences point out to you what you really are. They are sign-posts that say, “Come here, this is the way to yourself. You ARE this happiness!” But few stop long enough to read the signs.

The Ego of Aspiration enables you to translate your higher yearning into action, “I want to know my Self. I want to follow the glimpses I had of it, and realize the full unfolding of my inner potential.” This impulse enables you to engage in a spiritual practice and to connect with teachers and like-minded friends.

Then, as the Ego of the Sage develops through direct experience of the Self, you become increasingly unshakable in your orientation to liberation. This is true faith, which is not mere belief, but authentic knowledge of the shining wisdom of the Self and the profound and unlimited love in your heart.

But the Ego of Suffering will not simply give up and go away because you’ve had a spiritual impulse. Tyrants don’t give up so easily. They become bigger and more intimidating when we question their power.

You know how that works. You make a decision to mediate every day and suddenly all kinds of things get in the way. Distractions, demands on your time, laziness, discouraging thoughts are suddenly in your face. This is the secret art of self-sabotage. It’s alive in all of us.

The Ego of Suffering is depicted as a great demon in all the mythologies of the world. It puts up a hell of a fight, it terrorizes and tortures you. And in the end the demon loses. It must lose, because this is the way of it. Illusion can hold us prisoner for a long time, but it cannot win. Inevitably, if you follow the spiritual impulse with patience and determination, this gross ego dissolves.

Inevitably you become free. Inevitably you come to realize what in reality you already are. Inevitably, as the ego-sense dissolves, all that is good, auspicious and beautiful begins to manifest through the personality. I like that word: inevitably!

with love,

Ram Giri

Skills for Awakening

www.SkillsforAwakening.com

” The deepest wish we have is to feel the harmony and peace of an Open Heart. And if we want that strongly and ask for it, the universe will support us” – Ram Giri

Click Here to play

video time: 4:22min

Life will always have its ups and downs. This is inevitable. And in this continuous change, in this unpredictability, life meets beauty in its entire dimension. Here is where I ask myself and I invite you to do the same: How am I dancing with life?

Am I meeting life with a balanced and peaceful mind and an open heart, no matter what? Am I seeing that on my side of the fence the grass is pretty green too? Am I treating my fears, self-doubt, self-judgment and shame with kindness and compassion? Do I love myself just the way I am? Or am I constantly comparing myself with others who seem ‘more successful’, ‘more attractive’ or ‘more spiritual’ than me? Am I indulging in the 10 million distractions of the world in order to hide and run away from what’s going on inside? Am I pretending to be someone quite different than who I really am…?

I find that it’s easy to love yourself when everything is going your way, when life fulfills your desires, when you find yourself at the peak of the mountain.  But it doesn’t last; life constantly and kindly shows us where we have yet some growing to do. What about when you get embarrassed, feel criticized, vulnerable or exposed? When you find yourself in that dark tunnel feeling that there is no light at the other end? How do you deal with that conversation in your head that keeps putting you down?

If you are seeking for a deeper truth, ask yourself these questions; you can do that now, even if it means to stop reading this article for few minutes. This process of self-inquiry opens up a new understanding of yourself. It can give you a road map to deal with the conditioned mind that constantly falls into the cycles of self-doubt and self-judgment. This sheds light into the dark shadow.

Constantly we hide our most sacred ideas, our most sacred secrets, because it’s easier to shelter them than exposing ourselves. To bring them out, whether that means opening a conversation, looking for help, or finding practices to undo our own cobweb, means to make yourself vulnerable. And this can be scary at first. So we wear masks and pretend not to be ashamed, but we’re always scared to be found out… If they knew what I‘m really like, they would never speak to me again. This is the tragedy of this world: we have lost access to our brilliant hearts and live dominated by fear. That’s why we suffer so much.

Loving yourself the way you are is like being on the peak of a mountain and knowing that you can merge with the vastness of the sky and the nature around you. It is being at peace with reality, however reality shows up. It is being kind, so kind with yourself even in those moments when you can’t stop the self-punishment for what you have or haven’t done. It is dissolving the voice that says: “it is embarrassing to be me”, or “men don’t cry”, or “I’m not good enough”, and so on.

The truth is that it is not embarrassing to be you. It is quite the opposite. It is freedom to expose your true self, it is liberating to feel vulnerable and allowing what is. It is an act of honesty, with you and with the world, to show your sensitivity, your happiness or sadness, and your compassion. It is courageous to show what is hidden behind that mask. It is an act of love to be authentic. Keep this sentence in your mind: The most attractive thing about a person is his or her authenticity!

To get to the peak of that mountain (which ultimately is the realization that you are what you seek to become) you need to start climbing, step by step. Stop when you need to take a deep breath, perhaps look back to see how much you have advanced… and continue climbing, with that deepest driving desire in your mind, with one-pointed focus. Allow yourself to be like water and move with the flow of life. And it’s ok if you slip down a few meters. No need to panic. There is always a new opportunity to begin again.

Be aware and listen when the ego is telling you that you are going too slowly, or that you should climb faster. Stillness, even while moving, can help you to distinguish the voice of the ego from the voice of love. It is wise to acquire what you need for your quest: the companionship of fellow climbers, the necessary tools to make your climbing easier, the skills that make you stronger. Listen to the guidance and experience of those who have gone before you and check in to see if they work for you. And most importantly, know that in this quest you are completely supported by a caring universe.

All minds are the same until they get educated for happiness. That is your task. If you are conscious enough to understand this, then you are capable of doing it.  You are capable of turning your life around, so completely that not long from now you will have a laughing fit when you remember how miserable you used to make yourself today.

Unhappiness is optional, but only for those who get serious about happiness. And when I say happiness I don’t mean the meaningless chase after distractions that serve to keep the ego fast asleep. I mean the complete wakefulness of the spirit. I mean the full realization of the immense brilliance of what you are. I mean the full miracle of you!

You must discover your heart if you want to enjoy the kind of relationship you dream about and deserve. The tensions created by insecurity and self-doubt will inevitably spoil the greatest experience. They must create conflicts in all your relationships and they will cause you to sabotage yourself every step of the way.

But when you feel bad you push your heart away, you try to bury it, and it always comes back. You live in escape mode from what you believe, from your truth, but you can’t get away from yourself. These are the moments when you need that open and authentic heart the most.

Remember: The most attractive thing about you is your authenticity. When you can be who you are, you are naturally fulfilled and others will notice. There will be a shine around you, but you won’t care. It is just the natural way you are.

You are already what you seek to become, only you are unconscious of it. Your bliss and your love are already fully present in you; you just haven’t discovered them yet. In you lies hidden the totality of all the love that is possible in this world. It is the true nature of the heart.

But in you lies also the enemy of forgetfulness. You have fallen asleep. You do not remember you. And there is another factor alive in you: your ability to awaken from the trance of your unhappiness, from your distraction of mind and your closed heart. That spark in you is reading this article right now. It can go to sleep again, or not. It is up to you.

If you decide to act on the impulse to awaken yourself, be prepared to see your life change. With the knife of self-love you will cut out the decay, you will stop in its track the tendency to indulge in what makes you suffer. You will realize that you—and no one else—create all your suffering. And that will set you free.

Your view of life will change rapidly as you discover nothing but kindness around you. You will want to dissipate the habits of sadness and fear and learn healthy habits. You will want to love yourself in the places where you now hate yourself. You will want to embrace yourself with only pure love

It’s too late to promise yourself you’ll do better when all hell breaks loose. It’s hard to find peace in emergency mode. The time is now, or when will it be? Your higher potential is staring you in the face, when will you look? Find out what happens when you give yourself the support you have wanted. Let yourself be around people who dare to assume that they have the courage for freedom.

Take a jump and you will notice the ground rise up to meet you.

With Love,

Ram Giri and Julia

Skills for Awakening

The people of Libya have rid themselves of their oppressor and are celebrating.

Celebration of Freedom Women in Tripoli after Eid day 2-9-2011

I cannot help but be struck by the symbolism of this wonderful party, and what it can mean for us.

We too are involved in a ‘holy war.’ It is the true jihad, the inner struggle to free ourselves of the dictatorship of the ego that has caused us immense suffering. And while we are still in the middle of this all-important struggle for freedom, our eventual victory is certain because the forces of darkness can only obscure the light for a while.

Even the considerations at the end of this video of the new government’s move back to the capital, is reminiscent of the great shift of focus in the process of seeking enlightenment: the dissolving of the rule of the thinking mind and the return of our center into the heart.

Let’s enjoy this external victory over darkness today and know that the celebration of our own internal and final victory over the ego, once achieved, will never come to an end!

Ram Giri

When depression is not depression but disillusionment, it still feels like depression. But in reality it is the first step toward the recognition of your inherent freedom and peace. Dis-illusionment is the beginning of waking up from illusion. It is a difficult stage with enormous promise.

What is the illusion that is about to be lifted, and what reality beckons us? Our primary illusion is that we experience ourselves as separated from our Source, as egos subject to a meaningless and uncaring world. Because of this fundamental error in perception we grasp for things we hope will fulfill us and reject what we fear. We live in the tension between hope and fear, perpetually chasing after substitutes for real joy, unfulfilled and blind to the fact that the Source of all we yearn for is within our own hearts.

Human beings lived in this confusion for thousands of years and for many of us it can now come to an end. The process of awakening breaks us open from the inside and this is be highly upsetting to the old ways of our thinking, the view of the old paradigm. And it is good that what is not true should be destroyed so the truth can blossom in us.

To find the bliss of Self in the depth of the heart is the greatest adventure of humankind. As all adventures it brings along dangers and discomfort. To brave these and to triumph over our fears and our weakness is the price of success. That is why I invite you to welcome your dis-illusionment and, instead of trying to reach back to a former state of tranquility, move forward to embrace the astonishing truth of your being.

We embrace this truth and the love it brings through sadhana. Sadhana is the effective practice of waking up from illusion and replace it with the taste of reality. This is done by practicing specific skills, first among them stillness, devotion, self-inquiry, presence, and the support of spiritual community.

Sadhana demands focused self-effort. Through self-effort you are creating your destiny. It is magnificent to be able to change the course of your life by your own power! Your habit of blaming the events of the past, other people, or ourselves enhances the ego and contradicts your efforts to awaken. What appears as your destiny today is the effect of self-effort—or its lack—in the past. What matters therefore is how you conduct yourself now. You are capable to practice easy-to-learn, powerful skills to break free. It is simple. The alternative is to continue to suffer.

The greatest aspiration is to realize our highest goal and manifest it in this world. This is the aspiration to awaken from suffering and realize the radiance of the Self. And the truth is: you are already on the path to this goal. Everything is part of the path to enlightenment, whether you know it or not, even your pain and confusion. Your path looks like this now. Your journey had to go through all your experiences, just as they were. You have not failed, you have not gone wrong; this IS the path to your fulfillment.

What obstruct you from realizing this highest goal of your life is your thoughts. All suffering is experienced not in the outer events we blame, but in the mind. And even the body is exterior to the mind. Therefore your constricting, fear-based mental habits are the true source of your pain. You have inherited them from the society you were born into; they are entirely conditioned and you have not known how to question them to break free of their spell.

How heartless have you treated you and robbed you of the joy of your life! How cruelly have you imprisoned your heart by judging others and yourself constantly! Of course it was all done innocently, out of confusion. And what enormous joy will come to you when you find yourself, when you connect once again with your innermost ability to love yourself as you are and to let this love overflow into the world around you!

That is why I invite you to find your way back to the core of your Being. HeartSourcing is the central practice for that. The essential answer to all you, or anyone, have ever yearned for is the unconditional love and self-acceptance that waits for you in your heart. It may sound too simple and yet it is true. The fundamental nature of your innermost core is that happiness, and once you find it, it can never fail you.

To gain permanent access to that inner Source you can question your basic assumptions with the question, “Who am I?” This is self-inquiry. It frees you of your stressful beliefs and opens you to the realization of a deeper truth that will set you free. Through Open Attention you can shed your patterns of restricting emotions, which you have mistaken for an identity. This will take some effort, yes, but it is not at all difficult to do. The alternative is to suffer more. What will you do?… You are the architect of your destiny!

with love,

Ram Giri

SkillsforAwakening.com

An Alternative View of an Epidemic…

by Ram Giri

Over 120 million people suffer from serious depression worldwide. Most of them live in the richest countries in the world, where, one would think, people have less reason to be depressed. What’s going on?

What the statistics don’t tell us is that many of these people are not depressed even though they have the symptoms of depression, possibly all the way to suicidal ideas. They suffer from a completely different experience: disillusionment with the world. They sense, in some vague manner, that what they have counted on to give happiness and meaning to their lives is unable to do so, and will always betray them. Materialistic values are too small for them. They have unmasked them as hopeless, and therefore they have become hopeless.

Far from being an illness, such disillusionment is the root of the aspiration for spiritual emancipation. It is a difficult but necessary phase; it is the Dark Night of the Soul, the ‘eye of the needle,’ through which every spiritual seeker has to go pass. After all ‘dis-illusioned’ means to become free of illusion. In order to live in the next paradigm you first have to be dis-illusioned by the old one.

Most physicians and psychologists are unable to recognize this condition. They are unfamiliar with the spiritual dimension and therefore unable to lead people to an effective spiritual practice, which alone is able to resolve this state. “When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.” They hit their patients with a label of ‘illness’ and medicate them. This can terminate the beginning of a meaningful transformation and turn it into a very challenging illness. The well-meant effort of the psychologist actually creates the depression because it teaches that a true solution to an existential crisis is unavailable.

When the flame of a higher aspiration is kindled in the heart, dis-illusionment is the dawning of wisdom. It is difficult, essential and precious. It shows us the truth, that all things in this world are fleeting and transient, and that what we have hoped will make us happy and give meaning to our lives can never fulfill us.  It robs us of the illusion that gratifying the ego works.  Everything we have put stake in turns out to be useless.

In the midst of this pain a subtle intellect begins to emerge which is capable of grasping the truth: no amount of temporary pleasures, power, money, sex and experiences can bring us what we really want. And in this critical moment, as we begin to sense how shallow or misguided some aspects of our life have been, we need guidance to a way of life that can make sense to us, that can actually fill our emptiness. But instead we are told that our brains aren’t functioning and that the only hope for us is to take pills to become compliant once more.  And if we submit, we are again locked in the old paradigm of despair, the jail in our head.

But those in whom the spiritual flame has been kindled more strongly will be able to break this unintended conspiracy.  They recognize that this world is filled with sorrows and does not keep what it appears to promise. They will not submit, but out of hopelessness their hearts will become alive.  They may turn to the examples of those who have traveled the path to spiritual emancipation before us.  They will seek a liberation that is indestructible. They will seek the bliss of the Self.

Going through the symptoms of disillusionment is not a distraction on this path. It is the path. The journey goes through this crisis to freedom, and as we get dis-illusioned many times we come to experience progressively higher states of grace.

The great scripture of India, the Yoga Vasistha, begins with the aspirant brooding over the vanity of all things.  He is tormented by worries and anxieties. He is dejected and has become very thin.  He is indifferent to sense pleasures.  The whole world has become painful to him and he contemplates ending his life.  Many pages describe the multiple aspects of disillusionment, how the world of the senses is unfulfilling and empty.  A paradigm shift is desperately needed.  In the end of this chapter the sages, who see the true and positive significance of this state of mind, praise him:

“He alone is called a ‘human’ who has the light of spiritual aspiration burning in his heart. Others are not fit to be called ‘human.’  They are nothing but animals revolving in the wheel of birth and death, driven by attachment, infatuation, and ignorance… They are blessed who aspire to realize the essential Self through their existence in this world of illusory objects and perishable pleasures.”

If you feel down, hopeless, or disoriented, and if you identify with what I am saying in some way, you most likely do not suffer from depression but are in the midst of disillusionment.  This is the development of a new state of mind that carries in it vast promise.  It is the first step to true freedom and the profound happiness of enlightenment.  Congratulations to you!

The most important first step is to realize the difference between disillusionment and depression.  Cease to think of yourself as ill, but realize you are in a positive process of spiritual awakening. Next begin to seek out the most effective ways you can further this awakening.  Be sure you look for more than fleeting comfort, but rather define the ultimate, timeless goal you seek, such as liberation from suffering, unconditional love, peace, Self-realization, etc.  Then let your entire being strive for that goal.

In this context, whatever spiritual path attracts you deeply, that is the one for you. I have my personal bias here: I feel the Skills for Awakening are particularly capable of dissolving suffering at the root and enable you to move into a new paradigm of being: freedom.  But more than recommend one path over another, I trust that the awakening consciousness in your heart will guide your way perfectly.

~ You are the architect of your destiny ~

Everyone knows someone who is down or depressed.  Why don’t you share this article with them?  You’ll never know, you might save a life.

with love and gratitude,

Ram Giri

Overcome Physical Problems through Open Attention

We all know of the intimate correlation between mind, emotions and physical illness. Can resolving emotional stress help you overcome physical pain? And if so, how is it done?

Jane’s hip was hurting a great deal. She had gone to the chiropractor with little results and in the middle of the night the pain woke her up. That’s when she tried Open Attention, one of the Skills for Awakening.

Open Attention guides you to do the opposite of what you would normally do. Normally you would do anything to get rid of the pain. When pain arises, the mind is conditioned to jump into fight or flight mode. But what is the effect of that? You contract around the pain and it gets worse. It’s hard to stress yourself healthy.

That is why we need to approach healing with a healthy dose of wisdom and caring. Although the healthcare system is constantly involved in one war or another we need to ask this: when you fight a war against something that is a part of you, who is going to win that war? Not you.

So when war doesn’t work, then what?  Then it helps to realize that the symptom is not an enemy or a threat, but a part of you that needs help. This is a significant paradigm shift that allows for a completely different and very promising approach. You open to that part of you and pay attention. Thus begins a positive way of healing.

So Jane brought her attention to her hip. There was a burning sensation on the left side. Several times her mind tried to escape the feeling, but she persisted. After a while she became aware of a subtle sensation of nausea in her abdomen. What could that be about?

She switched her focus to the nausea. For a while the feeling in her belly continued to evade her attention, and again she persisted. Realizing the nausea, though subtle, was a powerful and important feeling, Jane became very still. She wanted to get to the bottom of this.

Assisted by that stillness and her determination to heal this part of her, she came into a highly focused state of mind. She evoked the power of unconditional love in her heart (through a process called HeartSourcing) and directed it into the nausea. When her mind and heart was concentrated on the sensation she realized that this was the way she had felt at times of great fear.

As soon as she realized it was fear, it began to dissolve. She did not know what had caused the fear, but she clearly experienced it evaporating. After a short while she noticed that both fear and nausea were gone. Her attention went back to the pain in her hip and that too had greatly decreased. After that she went back to sleep.

When Jane woke up the next morning, the discomfort in her hip had almost completely disappeared. She went to exercise as usual, with no side-effects. The improvement was stable.

How did this come about? Open Attention ends the unconscious rejection, the ‘war’ we wage against the symptom. It replaces this unconscious hostile attitude with an attitude of conscious openness and kindness. This can allow us to find hidden emotions that underlie the symptom, which dissolve through the simple application of awareness. This is the power of self-love in action.

Sadhana (spiritual practice) is the way to seek wholeness on all possible levels of our being. In the process of we are ‘plowing’ the unconscious mind to unearth the hidden obstacles that lie hidden there. They are known as the five kleshas: ignorance of the Self, egoism, attachment, aversion, and fear of death.

As these afflictions come to light one by one, we are able to transmute them into their opposites:

• awareness of the Self,
• ego transcendence,
• non-attachment and clarity of mind,
• acceptance of reality and unconditional love,
• and fearlessness.

The deep-seated fear Jane discovered was some manifestation of these kleshas. It was unimportant for her to find out its origin. What matters is that she brought awareness into the unconscious (the pain, nausea and fear). Like light shining into darkness, it dissolved the fear.

Such healing is part of the profound process of spiritual transformation. Once we have entered the path to enlightenment, the inner obstacles rise up in various ways so we can recognize and resolve them. This is the key to freedom.

Whether you are facing physical challenges, relationship problems, or pain related to your mind and emotions, you may be dealing with manifestations of inner obstructions that cannot be resolved permanently by conventional means.

In my experience most medical or psychological treatments are based on the rejection of symptoms without trying to understand their subtle message. This can produce only a temporary improvement. The deeper emotional cause remains untouched and manifests sooner or later in another symptom. To reach a lasting resolution requires that we free the deeper cause, and that demands a spiritually conscious approach.

I invite you to experience the practice of Open Attention and HeartSourcing through a guided meditation with devotional chant by Krishna Das CD “Living with an Open Heart”. Audio samples and downloads available in iTunes!

For more information go to our website: Skills for Awakening

with love,

Ram Giri

How to Rise Above the Pain of Attachment to Find Love, and
Why only a Clear Mind is Capable of True Affection and Caring

The most surprising Aha! moments come when we realize that something we have been absolutely sure about is completely untrue. Like a sudden ray of light into darkness we realize a new and liberating facet of truth. This can be the case when we gain some insight into the extremely common confusion between love and attachment. We pay an extreme prize for this error, and we pay it in suffering.

Before that clarity dawns, we don’t know there can be another way. Even the dictionary tells us that attachment is another term for affection. This view is directly in conflict with the wisdom traditions. Attachment is clinging, and that is not love. Love never hurts, it is free and pristine, and attachment always must lead to pain.

Only when we can let things be the way they are do we have a clear mind. When we want things to be different than they are, we lose, because reality doesn’t care about our opinions. Only by accepting reality as it is now can we perceive the world clearly. Only when we perceive the world clearly can we be effective and caring. And only when our mind is not filled with attachment and clinging can we have an open heart. One stressful though and our heart closes. That’s inevitable!

The crucial significance of non-attachment became clear to my friend Bob when he had to take his parents to an adult living facility. There he learned a powerful lesson about what love really is.

It began with the realization that mom and dad just couldn’t live in their nice home in the suburbs any longer. Even with help in the home, it was no longer safe. Dad would fall and bruise, and he even broke his arm. Mom also couldn’t cope any longer. She’d burn food in the kitchen and could easily have set the whole house of fire. They were both in their nineties.

It was very difficult for them to say good-bye to their home. They understood the need to move, but with their mental clarity coming and going, often didn’t know what was happening to them. Eventually Bob had them settled in a very good facility and went back home. Home is 2000 miles away.

He had seen how their attachment to their home had caused his parents pain, but the real teaching came for him when he returned to check in on them two months later. He was so happy to see them, but when he walked into the door he was greeted by a deep sense of depression and despair. There was nothing either of them could find good about their new home and they let him know in no uncertain terms how unhappy they were.

That night Bob went home in despair. He felt an intense heaviness in his chest. What was he to do? Moving them back home was out of the question. He wanted to relieve their pain and change their minds, but how? He seemed to be facing a hopeless situation.

That’s when Bob remembered his skill of Inquiry. He realized that his pain did not originate from his parent’s depression, but from his reaction to it. How was he going to be able to serve them better, with his mind and emotions in turmoil, or with a clear head and an open heart? So he sat down that night, pulled out a pad and pen and began to question his thinking.

His most disturbing though was, “My parents shouldn’t have to suffer.” He began the questioning process. Could he absolutely know that this was true? Of course it was what he, as a caring son, was supposed to think. All the voices in his mind, his entire conditioning told him so. And yet the undeniable fact was that they were suffering. His thinking was on a collision course with reality. He was waging a war in his mind he could only loose.

That was when he began to realize that this sacred belief simply wasn’t true at all. He continued with the process of inquiry and described to himself in detail his reactions to believing this thought. It made him miserable. It made him crazy because he was looking so hard for a solution and there was none. It made him as depressed as his parents were.

Then he asked, “Who would I be without this thought?” He would be relaxed and have a clear mind. Would he love his parents any less? Of course not! But there was a crucial difference: without attaching himself to this untrue concept he may be able to be with them in a much better mood. And that might help them.

So Bob turned this thought around: “I shouldn’t have to suffer.” At first this seemed selfish to him, but he realized that his suffering had really nothing to do with his love for his parents. It was the outcome of attachment and confused thinking. If he didn’t suffer, but had a clear mind instead, he might even find a solution to the situation. He couldn’t imagine one, but obviously his suffering solved nothing, it wasn’t helpful to anyone. He felt a shift inside his chest.

Then there was the other turn-around: “My parents should have to suffer.” This was the hard one. Everything in his conditioned mind fought against that belief. But for now, for this moment, wasn’t it true? They were suffering and that meant they ‘should’ be suffering, until they didn’t. The extremely simple logic of this insight settled in to Bob’s mind and if was a relief.

“My parents should have to suffer” of course means nothing about a future. To project that they ‘should’ suffer in the future would be mad, and we’re working on sanity here. But to say that they shouldn’t suffer when they obviously were was just as crazy. It was as though Bob could see something in his mind straighten out, an old and confused habit of thoughts coming into a new state of clarity.

There were other stressful thoughts, and Bob worked on gaining clarity in his mind for about two hours that night. One by one he saw through all his stressful beliefs, and as they melted away in the light of truth, he felt a great sense of relief. His emotions came to peace and he slept like a baby that night.

The next morning he couldn’t wait to see mom and dad. He walked into their room refreshed, with a clear mind and with his heart wide open. And that’s when the miracle happened. Inspired by Bob’s open heart, his two old parents instantly rose out of their gloomy mood, and they all met in a great space of love. This is how they had been together at the best of times and suddenly no one could any longer find a reason why it shouldn’t be like this again.

His parents stayed in this loving mood for the whole week of Bob’s visit, and it even after Bob left, they never again fell into depression. They opened to their new surroundings, made new friends, and lived out their final days becoming more and more peaceful until a merciful reality took them into the state beyond.

Today Bob often thinks about how different that day could have been and the time that followed. We believe that when someone we love is in pain we also have to hurt and we call that compassion. But what hurts is not love. It is blind attachment; it creates more pain and it doesn’t solve any problems.

The sacred belief, “My parents shouldn’t have to suffer,” and the misunderstanding of love that it breeds, is like an archaic religion. It is delusional. There is an unalterable reality about sickness, old age and death, as the Buddha taught. Can we support those whose turn it is, instead of joining them with self-created pain?

No matter how long we have held onto a set of unquestioned beliefs, if they cause us pain, isn’t it smart to question them? If our thoughts are at odds with reality, it may be time to change our religion.

Let me invite you to find out more about the revolutionary process of inquiry, also known as The Work of Byron Katie. If you are facing the suffering of a loved one, I cannot recommend this practice strongly enough! Just like in Bob’s case it may make a profound difference in your life and theirs. For personal consultations or coaching in The Work with Ram Giri, please go here.

With love,

Ram Giri

Skills for Awakening

I’m in the prime spot for Flamenco here in Miami, in a restaurant on Calle Ocho (that’s ‘8th Street’ for you gringos), right in the heart of Little Havana. The place is bubbling with excitement. Tonight there is a performance by Miami’s First Lady of Flamenco Clarita Filgueiras, and Natalia Merino, a famous dancer from Spain. The place is going to be on fire!

We have the best table in the place, right up to the stage and our group of 15 friends is in a great mood. The waiter comes to take our order and apologizes because they are overbooked. There is not a single seat free and everyone wants their food at the same time. I assure him that everything is all right and just do the best he can. Then we enjoy the superb show. We’re in heaven.

But not all is well on our table. As I later hear, two of our friends—let’s call them Sue and Mike—are hungry and are getting increasingly upset. I don’t know any of this because I am watching the beauty and artistry of the dancers. Only after I notice that Sue and Mike have left during the intermission I am told the story. It’s a classic tale of the painbody.

The painbody is the way we are unconsciously programmed for pain. Impulsively and blindly we choose pain and cling to pain, simply because its’ been an ingrained part of our experience of life and, while fearing the unknown, we cling to the known. So we sabotage our chances for happiness and for peace out of this primal addiction. It begins with the way we think.

When we believe our stressful thoughts we don’t experience reality as it is. We experience reality through what is going on in our mind. Our stressful thoughts shape our reality, make it stressful. We’re not our true selves; we are possessed by the painbody.

Here is what might have gone on in the thoughts of Sue and Mike: “This service is terrible! I’m hungry. I can’t stand it. I wish I didn’t come here. I’m miserable!” Talking to each other only confirms how terrible everything is. They’re in hell. And what’s worse: they paid for it! – Haven’t we all been there!

Hell—and heaven for that matter—are states of mind, pure and simple. And hell hooks us when we blame our miserable (or angry, depressed, anxious…) state of mind on something else. We volunteer to become prisoners in hell by believing that anything other than our state of mind is to blame. It never is.

Hell is what happens in our thoughts and emotions. As long as we don’t see that, we’ll be frequent visitors there. But once we do, once we turn inside to find the road to heaven, a miracle happens. Suddenly we understand that the world we have been blaming is in fact exceedingly kind to us. It is kind in that it will push all our buttons until we have seen them all and have freed ourselves from them. This is how the amazing kindness of the world guides us to enlightenment.

Now many of us understand that to some extent. To some extent. But very often we get caught once more in negativity and we grumble “Damn, here comes another f#*%#!! growth experience!”

We just love the drama of our unhappiness! How we love to hate it! It gives us something to feel, someone to be: the miserable one we’ve been for so long and so often. And the ego once more gets its way and the painbody its pain. How is all that working for you?

And then comes the moment of grace, when we the whole paradigm shifts and we awaken once more. Self-awareness is the key to freedom and you have that potential. In particular it is the awareness of the painbody that dissolves it. For that you have to look directly at what you cannot see.

I know that sounds impossible. It’s not. Here is how you can do it. After you become aware that you experience an emotional reaction to something, do the following:

1. Stop and notice your reaction: your behavior, your words and your thoughts
2. Come into the present moment and realize what you feel in your body
3. See the painbody reaction as a reaction, not as ‘reality’

As you become aware of the painbody reaction you shed the light of awareness into what was unconscious and hidden in darkness. When you shed light into darkness, what happens to darkness? It’s already gone. Becoming aware of the mechanisms of how you have unwittingly created pain for yourself dissolves the painbody.

Repeated practice and effort will lock the door to hell permanently and open the gates of heaven. This happiness is what you wanted all along, isn’t it? It’s what we all want because it is our destiny.

If you’re ready to take your higher evolution into your own hands, you can stop your old ways of suffering from interfering with your life. The painbody will cease to sabotage your experience of happiness, peace and the attainment of freedom. With the right determination, guidance, skills and support you can soar to your goal on eagle’s wings.

If you’re ready for that, I invite you to devote yourself to the study and practice of the Skills for Awakening. They are the highly developed essence of the means to your freedom. I put them in your hands along with the guidance and support for this path. Now it’s your turn to act. Can you love yourself enough to practice your freedom?

with love and gratitude,

Ram Giri

Skills for Awakening

I am riding my bike through the Miami traffic to get some movement into these old bones, and I can’t help but notice how aggressive people are. They honk and curse at the little old lady in front of them, then pass her in a cloud of exhaust fumes to enjoy the great victory of stopping at the next light right in front of her. Sad, destructive, and so very unnecessary.

Of course it IS necessary for them to be just the way they are so they can eventually come to the point where they can see their own folly. Sadly it may be after a heart attack at 52 brought on by hostility. All is as it is supposed to be in this world, and I think I’ll bike the back roads from now on.

This brings up the question: where am I still like them, aggravating myself for no reason, out of self-involved blindness?

It gets tricky here because it’s so easy to see someone else’s faults. It’s easy to get aggravated and frustrated, to blame, to ‘know better,’ to be defensive. We love to do it because it strengthens the ego. And we have a powerful unconscious commitment to continue this madness.

Or we can wake up from these many layers of self-induced suffering. We do it by becoming still, by questioning our stressful beliefs and dissolving the negative emotional patterns that keep us prisoners of our own blindness. And most of all we do it by the repeated practice of turning inside to nurture ourselves from the unlimited inner Source of Self-Love.

HeartSourcing is the direct tapping into this inner Source. As you proceed in the practice of this powerful meditation you will be able to feel the Heart Essence more and more deeply. You will recognize that all the happiness you have ever felt has come from here, and all the happiness you will ever feel will come from here, from the blissful Self which you can access in the spiritual Heart.

This inner Source of fulfillment, of unconditional love, of all-embracing kindness is never-ending. It is absolute generosity, the nature of your true Being. And as you taste the unlimited abundance of what you are, you are freed from dependence on what the world can give or take away. You become free of desire and aversion, the twin poisons of human life.

Becoming free of desire and aversion you shake off the ignorance of the Self, the inner Source. Becoming independent of your external circumstances, you enjoy inner balance and harmony. This brings to you a great deal of energy, as your inner vitality is no longer blocked by emotional tensions.

And of course this inner love you feel wants to share itself. It spontaneously communicates itself to the people around you, for that is the nature of love. Peace teaches peace, just like aggression teaches aggression. The question that remains with me at every moment is this: What am I teaching?

So the next time I am on my bike, how will I meet the driver who honks at me and cuts me off while yelling into his cell phone? Can I stay in my peace? Will I keep feeling my Heart, breathing in the amazing luxury that arises undisturbed from within? Or will I fall into tension, which I create by my own negative emotions, and then blame it on him?

How aware can I be? Can I see that all circumstances and all encounters are perfectly designed to help me wake up from my own negativity? Some people’s job is to nurture and love me. Other people serve me by challenging me. The love of God is everywhere. Can I stay open to it?

I look forward to the next person whom my mind wants to blame. He will be my next teacher of peace.

with love and gratitude,

Ram Giri

Skills for Awakening

* You can get free instruction in HeartSourcing Meditation here or enjoy it along with music by Krishna Das by ordering our CD Living with an Open Heart: here, or by downloading it instantly via iTunes here.