Another morning. But before I open my eyes, I lie still and deeply feel inside. And a recognition arises.

There is in us a presence of which we are often unaware. You have your own name for it, the presence of God, or reality, of the soul. For me it has the feeling of Maharajji, my guru.

And I lie there almost still asleep and very still, and it is there. This presence (His presence for me) is the deepest and most real way we can experience ourselves. And it is so far beyond all the identification with ego, our history and planning and pain. It is the pure essence of Self.

There it was, so pure and complete. And at that moment I knew that all life is nothing more or less than the process of this essence awakening us from the inside.

Can we let go enough of our self-effort to allow it to do its work?

Can we be open to this unspeakable grace?

Here is an entry from my friend Jai Uttals’ blog at http://jaiuttal.com/blog/:

The “Bhakti Movement” in the US these days is kind of strange to me. Wonderful, but also, weird. Wonderful because more and more people are experiencing the incredibly passionate joy of singing God’s names; and weird because, as Americans, we seem to feel the need to make it ‘special,’ and make ourselves ‘special’, and use Madison-Avenue type names to label and increase our ‘special-ness.’ We throw around words like ‘bhakti,’ ‘bhava’ and ‘ecstacy’ as if they are ice cream flavors or new types of kombucha. But in India, where all this stuff comes from, these words denote deep spiritual states, attained by only a few very lucky and very devoted souls who then become inspirations for the rest of us. When we in the west get together for an evening of Kirtan everyone is so eager to ‘get off,’ to have a super high euphoric experience, kind of like a rock concert…. This is fine, I suppose, but it’s just sooooo different from what we experience in a small temple in North India, where the devotees feel like they’ve been chanting for lifetimes and lifetimes, oblivious to the highs and lows, riding the waves of emotion and mood, resting in deep longing and fulfillment and surrender, awaiting God’s mercy. Is ‘Bhakti’ just a ‘high?’ A cool, blissed-out experience? The great ‘bhaktas’ (devotees) of old all write of an immense love and an even greater dependence on their beloved’s response. “My Lord, I’ve done nothing to deserve your embrace, but please come to me anyway!!!” Oh well. Maybe I’m just an old curmudgeon, too hard on myself and thus too hard on everyone else…

Here’s a true story of ‘Bhakti’…… (I probably have many details of this story incorrect, and I thought I would do some research before writing it. But instead I’m just diving in. Please forgive any historical or theological errors.)

In a dusty desert village in West Bengal, in the 15th century, sat an old but still very active little temple to the Goddess. Day in and day out, for hundreds of years, the poor villagers had been prostrating themselves there to ask for better harvests, more sons, and more money; in other words, relief from their suffering. To some the Goddess responded, but to most She remained mute. As in all Hindu temples of that time, a young Brahmin (someone from the highest, priestly, caste) was engaged to officiate the prayers and offerings, and to distribute ‘prasad’ (consecrated food). Chandidas, as he was called, was deeply committed to his tasks, yet he was confused by what he perceived as the Mother’s callous ignoring of Her children’s requests. “Are you really there?” he would ask the statue. “Please, please show me that you are hearing my words!”… But there was no response.

One day, as Chandidas was preparing the ‘aarti’ (offering) lights, he heard a brushing sound coming from the other side of the worship hall. Turning around, Chandidas was struck by what felt like a lightening bolt to his soul. Was it the Goddess, herself? Well, that’s been the big question for over five hundred years. Because quietly working in the corner, partially veiled, was Rami, a young woman from the village, an ‘untouchable’ (the lowest caste), sweeping the temple floors. Chandidas gasped and whispered “Radha.” Rami lowered her almond eyes saying ‘Govinda, my Lord.”

And thus began one of the most remarkable love affairs in history. Chandidas, who had never written a single line of poetry in his life, began to record his romance with Rami with an incredible outpouring of songs of the love of Radha and Krishna; songs of ecstacy, songs of anguish, in the first person voices of both God and Goddess. Perhaps Rami wrote the songs with him, for the voice of Radha emerged even stronger and more clearly than did the voice of Govinda. Of this we’ll never know.

Meanwhile, there was another voice that began to scream and howl. The power structure of the village, the political and ‘spiritual’ elders, had become enraged at this blasphemous affront to the caste system, in the heart of the very temple itself. A Brahmin and an untouchable having an illicit affair!!! And cloaking it in the language of scripture!!! An outrage beyond compare!!! The two lovers were ordered to stop seeing each other. Rami was of course fired from her job at the temple and thrown back into her life of poverty and Chandidas’ every step was watched by the unblinking eyes of the town bosses. But did this diminish the path of true love? Not one bit. In fact, as they were forced to meet in more and more secrecy, the songs of Chandidas took on an even more mystical hue, invoking as they did the illicit, mysterious nature of Radha and Krishna’s divine love. But in a small town in 15th century India, secrets could not be kept for very long. Soon, Rami was banished and Chandidas was thrown into prison. Demanded to deny his love, Chandidas simple bowed his head and proclaimed the eternal reality of ‘Radha Ramana Hari.’ Tears streaking the dust and dirt of his face, the young Brahmin fell to the prison floor chanting the glories of the divine couple: “Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare.” What difference was there for him between his love and passion for Rami and the ‘Rasa Lila’ (divine play) of Radha and Krishna? Nothing could stop the river of love flowing from Chandidas’ very soul. And so, in the ultimate act of fear, the village elders tortured Chandidas, finally tying his limbs to four horses and tearing his youthful body apart. As his soul departed his agonized body, the villagers could heard the words: “Hare Krishna…. My Rami, My Radha!”…..

Today, centuries later, the love songs of Chandidas are still sung reverently and, yes, ecstatically, by the villagers, Bauls, and devotees of West Bengal. Praising the divine lovers, falling at the feet of the divine lovers and identifying with the undying passion of the divine lovers….. With tears of longing to feel just a drop of what Chandidas must have felt. To have just the tiniest taste of true ‘Bhakti’, true love…… I’ve seen with my own eyes these mystic Bauls singing Chandidas’ songs, dressed in patchwork robes, begging the Lord for just one crumb, pounding out rhythms on a small drum or even just a wooden table, plucking a one stringed ektara, and remembering one of the great heroes of love, Chandidas, and his beloved, Rami.

I shared with you this recent experience of finding myself in the Assembly of Sages (see my last post: http://blog.skillsforawakening.com/blog/the-true-meaning-of-guru). It is still with me every hour of each day. Amazing how a 3 minute vision, sitting in front of my computer with my eyes closed, can change my life! It shows me that the most sacred space is within. Let’s meet there, you and I!

If you’re open, it is awe-inspiring to be in the presence of an enlightened being. I’ve had the grace of this experience repeatedly in this life and I speak of it with the greatest reverence. I share it with you because it is rare and extremely important – how else are we going to know what each and every one of us is capable of?

Now imagine being in the presence of a large group of such beings! It is not possible to put into words being with one – how much more impossible to describe many! It is impossible because by definition the awareness of a realized being is transcendent, surpassing the realm of words and of concepts.

But it does not surpass the realm of the Heart. Indeed it enlarges it for us. (That is why it is so transformative to read and hear about the lives of the Saints). And  – call me a fool – although words cannot describe what I am about say, I will try anyway.

I stood in front of this large group of enlightened beings. My awareness was riveted on them. I forgot myself for a moment and I saw in this expanse of light before me how they were bathed in a transcendent joy, a lightness of being that was extraordinary.

I realized they did not take their individual existence for real. Yes, they were distinctly separate beings – on the outside. But internally I could ‘see’ the awareness of the One shining through. The One reality, the One divine presence, the absolute simplicity and truth of our Being.

This sublime awareness shimmered in their presence. It was a visible essence, expressed by the profound joy that emanated from this group of sacred beings. They lived in a state of internal bliss, which left them free to appear as ordinary as any of us on the outside – but internally, what a difference!

Perhaps you can get a taste of this experience, now as you read about it, or as you recall it later. This is how blessings of the Heart spread. They spread through stories, from one open Heart to the next. So perhaps this vision can become yours too, just by the telling and hearing of it.

This is one of the ways how love spreads.

As soon as the word ‘guru’ entered the Western world it was misunderstood. Although we have a perfect example of what the word means in the figure of Jesus, we still could not understand it.

And so we reduced it and reduced it until now everyone who knows (or pretends to know) anything can call himself a guru. You can be a diet guru, a wall street guru, and internet guru, and so on. So that’s where we are now.

But let’s go back to the original meaning. Let’s try to get a glimpse of what a real guru might be. To illustrate I want to tell you what just happened to me yesterday.

I had the grace to be given an amazing experience and I am still in the grip of it. I hope I can put it into words to do it justice. Knowing the limitation of words, I most likely can’t. But you can make your own movie of it…

(Why in the world am I telling you this? Because an internal voice is urging me to, so I have no choice. It’s always a little scary to make such very personal experiences public. Are people going to think I am crazy? Oh well, they will think what they think.)

In a moment of – you may call it daydreaming – I saw myself go through a door and enter a vast space where I encountered an ‘assembly of sages’. I’ve seen pictures of such assemblies before, particularly on Tibetan scrolls, and I’ve read about such things in the Indian literature. But I had never seen such a thing.

It was breath-taking. There, in front of me, arranged in a semi circle were perhaps 80 or so completely free beings. I felt their presence. It elevated me. It made me feel light and free myself. But mostly I was in awe.

Then, on the left, I saw my guru (Neemkaroli Baba, Maharajji) walk toward me. Meeting him in a vision or dream is always an extraordinary experience. It is like meeting the deepest part of me, the very core of my heart come to life.

He came close and we stood side by side as the sages looked on. For a moment, being so close to him, I felt the difference between us. I stood there with my usual fears and hang-ups and self-doubt, feeling a sense of insecurity, a subtle anxiety and timidity. In other words, all my insufficiencies, that I usually hide so well, came to the surface.

He on the other hand was solid as a rock. No, I should say he was solid as the center of the earth. That’s how I have always known him. Solid, radiating complete unconditional love and completely present for me.

He was and is the perfect mirror for me. With him I get to see my challenges as well as what I really am, which, in the end, is no other than him.

And then the most amazing thing happened. He touched me with the side of his body and I felt all this anxiety and fear and self-doubt leaving me. It was being physically pushed out of my being. And in the place of it came the feeling I had of him, this complete loving solidity, which is also completely transcendent.

In other words, he exchanged my fear for his love, my self-doubt for his complete security, my shaky self-sense for his power of heart. I felt as if I was being remade that moment, as if the old self with its problems was being exchanged for a new model.

Just like that.

I was completely passive in that. There was nothing for me to do. I stood there, in front of this assembly of sages, like a new-born creature – and then they did it too. They too gave me a part of their being. They too freed me of a part of myself that was never true. What a gift. I am still stunned.

Now, of course I’m back in my ordinary everyday state of mind. And I’m wondering: who am I now? I don’t feel very different – but no, that’s not true. I’ve noticed that I am less prone to believe my own mind.

I can see my ‘stuff’ more clearly, my anxiety, my shakiness, the way I tend to depress myself. These old habits that used to repeat themselves quite automatically are more visible now and with that I am giving them less power. When I don’t believe my own story of how bad things are – well, then they just aren’t that bad.

This is an example of the love, power and grace of a true guru. Since it just happened yesterday, I am sure I will keep finding out the effect it has on me for quite some time.

One thing I know: my gratitude is enormous. And that in itself is an amazing gift.

I want for you ( – if you want that) to have an experience of such a being, of such closeness and grace. Perhaps it is Jesus for you. But it could be any sacred being that you have an affinity with. There is no competition among the liberated. Freedom is freedom and true love is true love. And they exist only to share it with us.

Just get them ‘out of the books’. They are not a story of who once lived here. They are alive today. They are available to us. They simply wait until we notice, until we are awake enough so we enter this sacred relationship they offer to us.

And you have it in you, this grace; we all do. We’re just usually too busy to become still and to listen and feel inside. When you do, you may discover wondrous things. You may discover a whole world of love.