The ego is confusing. It’s not your enemy. And you already know that very often it isn’t your friend. It can cause a lot of trouble.

If you have too much of it, you may be blind to it—while it’s obvious to everyone else. If you have too little, you can’t function in this world.

You can’t live without an ego; you have to have one, but it isn’t real. It is created moment to moment by a conversation you have in your head: one moment you’re wonderful, the next moment you shiver in fear.

This ego, the one that’s forever busy chasing what it desires and protecting itself from what it fears, is the ego of suffering.

The ego is baffling and mystifying, and if you don’t understand it, and educate it, it will be your master, instead of the servant it is meant to be. Then it will lead you around by the nose, through a lot of pain and loss to exactly nowhere.

You’ve heard all the stuff about transcending, or even  ‘killing the ego.’ And you’ve also heard that you need ‘ego strengths.’ So what is it? Do we need to get over it, or make it strong?

The answer is: both. You think that’s paradoxical? Definitely!

Okay, lets start with the basics.

At birth you emerge into this world from what has been called “The Ground of Being,” the womb of the universe. And at death, that’s where you go. It is the Self, the alpha and the omega, spirit, THAT which many people call God.

From there you can picture the journey of your existence as a circle that begins and ends in the Ground of Being.[1]

You can then divide this circle into two halves. The first part of life is about building the ego, coming to know who you are in this short time-span of your existence; it’s about going out into the world, about self-assertion, about being some body. The second half is about returning back home to our essence, to your origins, to spirit, to Self-realization, to eternity, oneness, and truth.

The “I” changes throughout this circular journey.

We can also divide the circle into three parts, three pie shapes. In childhood the ego begins as soon as you start to think. At the beginning of thought there is a mechanism that makes you continuously relate everything in your world to this “I.” You make up this thing called “I” as you think. You believe it’s a stable ‘thing,’ but it isn’t; it’s like an optical illusion of the mind that appears real.

This first third of the journey is the pre-personal stage. The roots of your beliefs of “I am………” are laid here, good and bad. You identify with your body, your likes and dislikes, your emotional habits and your personal history. You praise yourself and experience pride, and you condemn yourself and experience guilt. Most of this is subconscious and quite automatic. You struggle to be who you think you are meant to be, and you judge yourself as to how well you think you are doing. This, as I said, is the ego of suffering.

At this stage you are unconsciously still fused with the collective mind, and your thinking is deeply conditioned. You think in the way your family or clan, religion or nation told you to think. You are under the influence of an internalized voice that sounds like a controlling and critical parent. You have not yet developed a fully independent sense of yourself, a free way to make up your own mind.

For that you have to cut the restricting ‘umbilical cords’ that bind you to the ways of your upbringing. Until you do, you do not yet have a fully functioning ego. You’re part of the group mind. You’re also still close to spirit and that gives you comfort. But the danger here is that you may be prone to fundamentalist thinking.

Once you cut the ‘umbilical cord’, you move into the self-conscious stage, become a fully rational person and see the blossoming of your personal identity. You become an independently functioning individual, a “person” in your own right. No longer bound by the fear of being rejected by your group if you were to be fully yourself, you unfold your unique gifts and abilities.

This is the culmination of what Western psychology calls the development of ego-strengths. Rational and relatively independent in your views, you act and operate in your world.

Western culture generally assumes that this is the totality and aim of human development. Once you are a strong individual, you ‘have made it’ in the eyes of our culture; you are done. Therefore, of course, most individuals do not evolve much beyond this point. They are still in the grip of the ego of suffering, and remain far removed from the nurturing reality of the true Self.

This is now changing, as more and more of us realize that the highly developed ego is not the end of the line. And the ego itself feels it, as it matures. Where it has been fascinated with material life at first, now a sense of unease arises, an existential loneliness, disconnection and lack of fulfillment, or perhaps a deep, but indistinct yearning. These can easily turn into despair and trigger addictions and relationship problems.

Such lack of fulfillment is often mistaken for regular anxiety or depression—but that is not what it is, and it should not be treated that way. The ego has to suffer this basic lack of fulfillment, because it knows deep down that it, along with the body and all its worldly achievements, is going to die—although it tries hard to ignore that fact.

But rather than despair, this is the time when the individual needs to evolve further, and only entry into the next stage, the spiritual stage of development can resolve these problems.

This brings us to the third pie shape, the trans-personal stage. This part of the journey has been deeply studied by the world’s mystical traditions. Particularly Indian Vedanta and Tibetan Buddhism have elevated this inquiry to a profound and fascinating science.

As long as you operate exclusively through your rational mind, you will remain unaware of the reality of this higher development, because it goes beyond the ego, beyond the rational mind. But it does not deny rationality; it includes and transcends it. Here the mind can evolve into intuitive intellect and into divine intelligence.

It begins with experiences that lead you into the spiritual realm. At first these moments of peace, or deep joy, or your ability to perceive a deeper truth, are fleeting. To make them more permanent, you must develop an ability for stillness. Meditation is the best known and time-honored way to do that.

The first part of the spiritual journey is the exploration of ‘spiritual wonderland.’ You are fascinated by all kinds of exciting options, collect spiritual paraphernalia, move from teacher to teacher, read many books, and, all-in-all develop a very cool spiritual ego, which is not much different at all from the rational ego. It feels special about itself, either in a good or bad way, and in that it is absolutely commonplace.

But as you explore the spiritual realm, you build another kind of ego, the ego of aspiration. Now you feel drawn to real sadhana, to committed spiritual practice. This is how you can free yourself of the shadow elements, the habits of suffering which you have acquired earlier in life and which are the true source of your pain.

The higher reaches of spiritual realization will remain hidden to you until you do this work. But with the gradual easing of unconscious tensions, and with a greater and stable peace, comes the ability to look inward.

Now a great paradigm shift begins. You realize that who or what you thought you were was in fact a mistaken identity. Yes, the ego was useful enough for a while, just like the countless other identities you have built in past lives that are now gone and forgotten. And so will this one be gone in just a few years.

Now however this is not a source of despair, but of a great aspiration. You begin to intuit that you are in truth not this puny ego with its ongoing drama and self-importance, but the true Self, and your body and mind can serve as the perfect expression of divine presence in form.

You realize that you are not the body, but a ray of divine light that is reflected in you. And, going even further, you realize that this individual ray is one with the sun, the Self, the Source of infinite light.

In the expansion of this inner experience, the ego is transformed into the ego of the sage. Where it has formerly been opaque and confused, it now becomes transparent to the light. Where it has been a dictator, if not a tyrant at times, it now becomes your faithful and reliable servant.

Through the force of continued spiritual practice, sadhana, your being becomes the conduit of divine grace. The thinking mind with its judgments and stress dissolves and gives way to the intuitive intellect, which can run your worldly affairs perfectly.

The heart remains increasingly open and, since you are internally filled by the bliss of the Self, you can love freely. Your life becomes a life of joyful service to all beings around you, in whom you recognize the same presence of God that shines in you.

This is the way to absolute peace and to the fulfillment that does not die when the body is done. It is the realization of your true and immortal identity as the Self.

The ego evolves from being the source of much trouble to being a clear lens through which the presence of God shines into this world. How is it done? What are the mechanisms that are at work in this transformation? And what is the most crucial transformation from the ego of aspiration to the ego of the sage?  That is what we will discuss in Part 2.

We invite you to watch the video: The 3 Aspects of Ego by Ram Giri.
For more information visit our website www.Skillsforawakening.com

With love and gratitude,

Ram Giri 
and the Skills for Awakening Team

The ego has two very positive aspects, the Ego of Aspiration and the Ego of the Sage. They must be used to overcome the third, the Ego of Suffering.

The root cause of the ego of suffering is fundamental ignorance. It is the delusion that, “I am this body, this mortal personality. Happiness comes from enhancing myself.” This view creates the afflictions of egoism, attachment, hatred, and fear of death.

The Ego of Suffering does not have your best interests in mind. Quite to the contrary. It only wants to enhance itself, and by that you are entangled in a merciless net of pain of your own making. This ego is a tyrant that takes you over and holds you prisoner.

At the same time it is incurably insecure, because its existence is not based on reality. It is a fabrication of confused, self-centered thoughts, only concerned about its own maintenance, the continuation of its delusion.

The emotional part of this ego is knows as the pain body, the way you unconsciously cling to pain. To put it into words, you have a hidden belief, “I am this person who is used to a certain amount of suffering. That’s who I am.” And to maintain this identity you unconsciously sabotage your happiness and bring pain to you.

Although we like to believe that we are victims of an uncaring world, the truth is that all our suffering comes from the way we unconsciously incapacitate ourselves. This is why the ego of suffering needs to be rooted out.

To do this is the job of the Ego of Aspiration. Everyone knows it already first hand. You have experienced it in moments of deep peace, of unconditional love, or during flashes of great happiness. Although most people miss their true meaning, these incidences point out to you what you really are. They are sign-posts that say, “Come here, this is the way to yourself. You ARE this happiness!” But few stop long enough to read the signs.

The Ego of Aspiration enables you to translate your higher yearning into action, “I want to know my Self. I want to follow the glimpses I had of it, and realize the full unfolding of my inner potential.” This impulse enables you to engage in a spiritual practice and to connect with teachers and like-minded friends.

Then, as the Ego of the Sage develops through direct experience of the Self, you become increasingly unshakable in your orientation to liberation. This is true faith, which is not mere belief, but authentic knowledge of the shining wisdom of the Self and the profound and unlimited love in your heart.

But the Ego of Suffering will not simply give up and go away because you’ve had a spiritual impulse. Tyrants don’t give up so easily. They become bigger and more intimidating when we question their power.

You know how that works. You make a decision to mediate every day and suddenly all kinds of things get in the way. Distractions, demands on your time, laziness, discouraging thoughts are suddenly in your face. This is the secret art of self-sabotage. It’s alive in all of us.

The Ego of Suffering is depicted as a great demon in all the mythologies of the world. It puts up a hell of a fight, it terrorizes and tortures you. And in the end the demon loses. It must lose, because this is the way of it. Illusion can hold us prisoner for a long time, but it cannot win. Inevitably, if you follow the spiritual impulse with patience and determination, this gross ego dissolves.

Inevitably you become free. Inevitably you come to realize what in reality you already are. Inevitably, as the ego-sense dissolves, all that is good, auspicious and beautiful begins to manifest through the personality. I like that word: inevitably!

with love,

Ram Giri

Skills for Awakening

www.SkillsforAwakening.com

There are countless levels of consciousness. No one lives on one level permanently, it shifts and moves, but more or less we have most of our experiences on a stage of awareness to which we are most habituated.

Within this stage we strive to be happy and to avoid suffering. And we also strive to evolve to higher stages to avoid the typical suffering we encounter in our stage and eventually get to what we call enlightenment or salvation or the peace that is beyond understanding.

First let’s look at the particular stage you are on. There is a spectrum of good experiences and bad experiences, of happy and sad, of peace and war. And all this happens on this same stage of consciousness. It’s the world of duality and we’re quite caught in it.

Now if you observe yourself closely you may find that when you get too low down you seek to elevate your consciousness because the higher your awareness is, the less you suffer. So with therapy or a vacation or a pill or by making some changes you make yourself more comfortable and then you feel better and your great desire for change is satisfied for a while – until something else happens and you get unhappy again. In this way you stay within your habitual range.

We can also observe that when we get happier than our customary state, we sabotage our happiness and create pain for ourselves. You may remember a thought like: “This is too good; it can’t last,” and sure enough it doesn’t because in some unconscious ways you call pain into your life again. Or you may have noticed that you are saying something to your partner and you have the thought, “Why am I saying this? I know where this leads, this leads to a fight and I don’t want a fight!” Nevertheless the words come out of your mouth and two minutes later you are embroiled in your fight. You get the pain you were unconsciously seeking. Then you make up and all is well again, until the next time.

This is what we call the pain body, the unconscious desire for pain.  It is a strange compulsion or addiction, an enchantment not unlike a curse and every one has it. It is bewildering but very real. Everyone has a pain body and if you are lucky enough to know about it that means that you have a chance to get free of it. With most people it is completely unconscious.

After the pain body takes over and you have created some pain for yourself you’re back on your habitual level of consciousness and your ego feels well because now it doesn’t have to stretch and grow and it gets to stay with the way it’s been which is the most important thing for egos.

So most of the things people do, maybe 98% of it, is designed to make their egos more comfortable. This is very confusing. They say they want enlightenment but they’re on the slow road. They are still feeding their egos by seeking more comfort. Eventually everyone gets enlightened, but unless you address and overcome what keeps you stuck on your habitual level of (dis-)comfort, it may be a long time until you get there.

But what if you’re really getting determined to grow, or even have the idea, the yearning to reach enlightenment and true freedom, the only way to experience true and full happiness? What would you need to do then? Then the search for more comfort would not be enough because the comfort never lasts. It just puts you on one side of the dualities of your life. You would need to transcend your present level of consciousness and in the end transcend all the levels of dualistic consciousness with their mix of pleasure and pain to reach non-dual or unity awareness.

This is a completely different state, outside of duality and therefore free of suffering in a lasting way. This is possible for you. It will take some work but the path-breaking news is that it is possible for you. I say path-breaking here because so many of us have been on a spiritual path for a long time and yet we are mostly busy to stay comfortable with what we know, we stay in our habitual state of consciousness and are not quite sure we want to go into the unknown that scares us, even though that unknown is true happiness.

We have to break that path open and begin to truly liberate our minds and emotions if we want to realize what we have been wanting for a long time perhaps. This is where the Skills for Awakening come in. They are the essence of reaching for true freedom and they are so simple that everyone can use them with a little practice.

with love,

Ram Giri

Skills for Awakening

From a Buddhist perspective, busying ourselves with worldly activities is a form of laziness, because we’re lax in self-cultivation. Our lives are so busy in modern society: Our appointment books are completely full and we’re always running here and there. We often complain there isn’t enough time for the Dharma.

However, whenever we have a spare moment, we work overtime or call some friends to fill in the gap. We always have time to eat, but we hardly ever have time to nourish ourselves spiritually by attending Dharma classes or meditating. When the temple has entertainment and free meals, we go; but when there is meditation or lessons, we’re busy.

This hindrance to spiritual progress comes because we’re attached to worldly pleasures: food, money, reputation, amusement, and friends. The harm comes from our inappropriate way of relating to them. Attached, we selfishly indulge in them. However, these things in and of themselves aren’t bad. Through pacifying our afflictions, we can enjoy these things with a good motivation–to improve ourselves for the benefit of others.

–from Taming the Mind by Ven. Thubten Chodron,

]]> http://blog.skillsforawakening.com/blog/our-lives-through-buddhist-eyes/feed 0 http://blog.skillsforawakening.com/blog/are-you-ready-for-the-future http://blog.skillsforawakening.com/blog/are-you-ready-for-the-future#comments Mon, 13 Dec 2010 22:51:01 +0000 Ram Giri http://blog.skillsforawakening.com/?p=334

The prominent futurist Ray Kurzweil says that in 2045 computers will be one billion times more powerful than all human intelligence today!

So what will the most important functions for human beings be if thinking is so much more effectively done by machines, knowledge is readily available and we have come to the end of the quest for knowledge?

Perhaps the most important role of humans will be to provide wisdom and the power of the Heart. Get ready for the future today by clearing your mind and Heart of the interference of stress, confusion and fear. This will free you of suffering now and reveal wisdom and openheartedness as your true nature.

I like checking the Skills for Awakening against a variety of other wisdom traditions. What I find, time and again, is that this thoroughly contemporary approach is really the pure practical essence of what the wisdom traditions teach. It represents the practice of the liberation from suffering without all the trappings of foreign cultures and times. It is for us, and it works.

The following is a quote from a Tibetan work, detailing exactly what our Skills approach says: identify the thought or feeling that causes stress and apply the antidote: The Work for thoughts and Open Attention for feelings. Face them, set them free – and as you do, you increasingly build a habit of the opposite positive qualities (here: fearlessness). This is the process of removing obstructions and building the qualities of a pure existence. As you do that, grace will create the deeper transformation of enlightenment. Here is the quote:

Fear and Fearlessness.
Perhaps the first reaction we have to our own suffering is fear. Fear arises in us almost automatically when we experience strong emotions or pain. We don’t have to sit there and generate fear–it just arises. When we experience a disturbing emotion such as jealousy we think, “No, I don’t want this.” We would rather not experience it. However, if we examine fear closely, we see that it is a thought to which we have been habituating our mind for a very long time. We have repeated this thought pattern of fear for many years, and from a Buddhist point of view, many lifetimes.

In just the same way, when we habituate our minds to being fearless, to being brave and open towards our emotions, fearlessness will also arise naturally. In order for this to happen, we must train in applying antidotes to our thought patterns that are caught up in fear. In this way, we transcend fear first through a conceptual process, which later becomes nonconceptual, a natural fearlessness. In order to become fearless in this way, we need determination and the willingness to face our emotions. With that strong determination and courage, fearlessness will arise effortlessly.

–from Trainings in Compassion: Manuals on the Meditation of Avalokiteshvara trans. by Tyler Dewar under the guidance of The Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche

You would never do this to yourself consciously. You, like everyone else, do not like to suffer. And yet, you, like everybody else, are sometimes subjected to the hidden force of self-sabotage.

Committing yourself to a practice to awaken to your higher potential and to end the pain in your life is a sure way to activate this unconscious process. If you don’t want to fall prey to it, it is necessary to take a close look at the forces that will fight to maintain the status quo, that want to make sure your old level of pain is maintained. These are two-fold, the fear of change and the pain body.

Fear of Change

The unknown scares us, even when what is unknown is happiness or peace. Imagine living permanently in true freedom and joy. It would be like living in a different world, wouldn’t it? And stepping out of the zone of our habitual way of life can be very scary. When that fear arises we are likely to do something to prevent us from changing.

The Pain Body

The pain body is our unconscious tendency to cling to that part of our identity that is used to pain. “Who would I be without my pain?” is a difficult question for many to answer. We’re just so used to our difficulties.

Who hasn’t had the thought during very happy times, “This is too good to last!” who hasn’t noticed repetitive patterns of self-inflicted suffering? This is how we unconsciously call back our discomfort and do something that brings us pain. (You can read more about it here: http://skillsforawakening.com/teachings/the-pain-body/)

We create our own reality through our thinking and our emotional patterns. Unless we change them, the same problems are likely to happen again and again, including our tendency to self-sabotage. This is how we can stay stuck for a long time.

When you make the decision to take your life onto a higher level of functioning, the unconscious force of self-sabotage rears its head. It can come in many forms, all of them appearing completely convincing: You have no money, no time for it, the effort is too much trouble, or you get yourself distracted. Although these may be untrue pain body manifestations, they appear completely compelling to you.

Even more difficult to see are self-sabotage events that appear to come from outside: external interferences, family objections, accidents, illness, a sudden increase in problems or outright chaos and more can all be the outcome of your unconscious desire to reject your impulse to improve your life.

Some interesting self-sabotage events are completely unforeseeable events that interfere with your life. Most people would not ever suspect that such events can be brought on by their own subconscious – until such events repeat themselves at similar junctions in life. There are also what I call ‘metaphysical delusions,’ the conviction that grace will take care of you, that all is really fine, or that no action on your part is necessary. The truth of course is that grace comes to us in exact proportion to self-effort.

The resolution to this challenge comes when our fear of change and self-delusion gives way to the will and courage to change. This happens when our yearning to experience the true freedom of liberation from suffering has become stronger than the old habits of interference.

How does that happen? This inner maturing can be accomplished by two forces: by suffering and by a decision to do what is necessary to reach this freedom, aided by a deep yearning or desire for it. Yes, we have a choice here: if we are able to make the decision to free ourselves proactively from the inner obstructions, we can avoid the necessity for suffering to give us this motivation.

When we are thus no longer fully subjected to our pain body and the fear of change, we arrive at a true commitment to our freedom. This gives us the ability to listen to our internal wisdom and to follow the Heart, our inborn ability for self-love. It empties us of the small self, the contraction of the fear-based aspects of ego, and opens us to the astounding presence of the Higher Self. This alone is true freedom.

Namaste,

Ram Giri

Three aspects of spiritual life are precious to guard and develop: devotion, enthusiasm and the focus on enlightenment.

Devotion to our teacher and our highest goal is the source of all blessings. We may think that this is because when we have devotion we are good and we deserve to receive blessings, but that is a minor consideration. Rather it’s that our devotion opens us so we become capable of receiving the blessings that are always ready to come to us. Devotion is entirely for our benefit. It focuses mind and heart onto what is essential.

Enthusiasm is what drives us on and what increases with each forward step we take. Even when we’re in a deep valley we can still maintain this passion for enlightenment; perhaps then it comes in the form of the yearning for the end of suffering. This is perfect, for suffering can create powerful motivation.

The focus on enlightenment, on awakening to our true nature, is the great goal of life and the more keen our focus becomes, the straighter will be the path we travel. The straighter the path – the less suffering. The less suffering – the more peace, bliss and truth. The more peace – the more compassion and the more we will be able to share with others the grace of our beings. If we can remember our aspiration for enlightenment a little bit more each day, then before we know it, our life will become a thrilling adventure and it will be nurturing and uplifting to all around us.

We think of it as inevitable, but that is not true. Suffering arises in the unquestioned mind and spreads from there. It is an ingrained habit, no more. And we can change habits.

Our thoughts run into the past and the future, imagining what was and could go wrong. Observe it. These regrets and worries are not ‘problem solving’, they are ‘problem creating’. They are the habit of old and future pain. None of it is real. One, the future, has not yet happened, the other, the past, is over.

What is real is the Now. Can you be here for it? And when you are, look, what is there to worry? And what old hurt would you voluntarily carry there?

Yes, suffering is an ingrained habit. Let’s change it. That’s how we become part of the change we want to see in the world.

For more go to: http://skillsforawakening.com/teachings/#03

The Israelites showed us how it’s done. 40 years in the desert with nothing but their faith to support them – my God that was no picnic!

Picture them, the whole tribe walking along. Up ahead the courageous ones, the explorers, ready to conquer the scary unknown. Then the whole mass of the people, the old ones, women and children. And at the end the stragglers, the weak and the sick.

That’s how we move toward enlightenment, all of us. We’re a whole crowd, every one of us, all the different parts moving as fast as we can into the light.

Look, there is your courage and strength moving ahead and there is also your weakness, your pain, your arrogance, blindness and shame, lagging behind. These are the parts of you slowed down by the five poisons (or kleshas), confusion, anger, desire, pride and envy.

So now picture yourself as Moses. You’re in charge to get the whole convoy of yourself moving along. Where do you put your attention? It’s fun to deal with the fearless explorers and with the crowd in the middle that knows to party every night when you make camp.

But as the best of leaders, I bet you’ll pay special attention to the stragglers, won’t you? Because you know that the whole of you can only move as fast as they move.

There is no point in giving them pet talks. They are already moving as fast as they can. Better to relieve them of some of their burdens, purify them of those poisons. They are bogged down by stressful emotions and thoughts that are giving them pain. Have patience; show them compassion. Be kind to yourself and clear and determined in your spiritual work.

Show them, one by one, how they can put down their burdens. Make that your main focus and the whole procession of you will speed up. You will move along in a unified way, everyone will feel better and you’ll get to the promised land right on time!

Angry and petulant is the best way I can describe it. There it sits in my inbox. How am I going to deal with it?

Of course I could react now, but I can just see the repercussions. Hopeless and completely unnecessary.

So: Can I see the writer as part of God? How can I appreciate that he is here to give me a teaching I obviously need (because here it is, black on white on my screen)?

I go slow. My gut churns a little and I pay gentle attention to that. Soon it calms down. I craft a careful reply, being polite and expressing my truth as clearly as possible.

I turn his accusation around and look if he could be true. I see it and I tell him in ways he can understand.

When I’m done I feel good. I am grateful to the writer because he gave me an opportunity to grow beyond that old reactiveness I know so well.

He is teaching me to be peaceful while standing up for my truth.

I look forward to as many other teachers like that I might need until there is no longer even a slight urge to react. He is teaching me the reality of love.

Obviously it was God writing to me.

Amazing!

While reading an amazing teaching by Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche (the main guru of the Dalai Lama, whose new incarnation is just touring the States for the 1st time) I thought of you.
In a few short words: It is the teaching of clearly seeing that all the misery in our lives comes from ego-clinging, all the pain we have we create ourselves. On the other hand, once you have a spiritual view of life, it becomes clear that you will benefit from all interactions with other beings, may they be kind or hostile to you. We all know the special lessons ‘difficult’ people offer us, don’t we? So that shows us that all beings benefit us; it cannot be any other way as long as we are open to learning, to awakening to enlightenment. So all the misery in our lives comes from ego-clinging, and all the good in our lives comes from other beings.
I read this this morning and it just hit me so wonderfully. What amazing gifts we are to each other!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for being among the beings that have given, and are giving to me so richly!

One of the greatest books of the wisdom literature of this planet is the yet little known “Vasistha’s Yoga.” The following is a quote from it regarding self-inquiry and the Heart:

If one has achieved even a little bit of control over the mind by self-enquiry, such a person has attained the fruit of his life. For that self-enquiry will expand his heart.

This of course is exactly what we are doing with the Skills for Awakening. Vasistha continues:

When such enquiry is preceded by dispassion [or: detachment] and has attained stability by practice, all the noble qualities resort to it naturally. Ignorance and its retinue do not bother one who is fully established in self-enquiry and who sees what is, without distortion. When he has found his foothold in the spiritual ground, he is not overcome by the robbers known as sense-pleasures.

Practicing self-inquiry with The Work gives you that stability. You can first observe it by noticing how you react less to situations and people that used to upset you. You become calmer, more peaceful and in control of yourself. This is a control without force, a natural peacefulness and mastery. This is true knowledge. It frees us from the constant distractedness of the undisciplined mind that is craving for and running after sense pleasures. Notice that there is nothing wrong with pleasures; it is the desire for them that throws you off balance. In true peace you can enjoy whatever comes, may it be labeled ‘good’ or ‘bad’. This is dispassion, the foundation of lasting peace. In that peace the Heart can be wide open.

I hope you enjoy this, please let me know.

Ram Giri

Here is an entry from my friend Jai Uttals’ blog at http://jaiuttal.com/blog/:

The “Bhakti Movement” in the US these days is kind of strange to me. Wonderful, but also, weird. Wonderful because more and more people are experiencing the incredibly passionate joy of singing God’s names; and weird because, as Americans, we seem to feel the need to make it ‘special,’ and make ourselves ‘special’, and use Madison-Avenue type names to label and increase our ‘special-ness.’ We throw around words like ‘bhakti,’ ‘bhava’ and ‘ecstacy’ as if they are ice cream flavors or new types of kombucha. But in India, where all this stuff comes from, these words denote deep spiritual states, attained by only a few very lucky and very devoted souls who then become inspirations for the rest of us. When we in the west get together for an evening of Kirtan everyone is so eager to ‘get off,’ to have a super high euphoric experience, kind of like a rock concert…. This is fine, I suppose, but it’s just sooooo different from what we experience in a small temple in North India, where the devotees feel like they’ve been chanting for lifetimes and lifetimes, oblivious to the highs and lows, riding the waves of emotion and mood, resting in deep longing and fulfillment and surrender, awaiting God’s mercy. Is ‘Bhakti’ just a ‘high?’ A cool, blissed-out experience? The great ‘bhaktas’ (devotees) of old all write of an immense love and an even greater dependence on their beloved’s response. “My Lord, I’ve done nothing to deserve your embrace, but please come to me anyway!!!” Oh well. Maybe I’m just an old curmudgeon, too hard on myself and thus too hard on everyone else…

Here’s a true story of ‘Bhakti’…… (I probably have many details of this story incorrect, and I thought I would do some research before writing it. But instead I’m just diving in. Please forgive any historical or theological errors.)

In a dusty desert village in West Bengal, in the 15th century, sat an old but still very active little temple to the Goddess. Day in and day out, for hundreds of years, the poor villagers had been prostrating themselves there to ask for better harvests, more sons, and more money; in other words, relief from their suffering. To some the Goddess responded, but to most She remained mute. As in all Hindu temples of that time, a young Brahmin (someone from the highest, priestly, caste) was engaged to officiate the prayers and offerings, and to distribute ‘prasad’ (consecrated food). Chandidas, as he was called, was deeply committed to his tasks, yet he was confused by what he perceived as the Mother’s callous ignoring of Her children’s requests. “Are you really there?” he would ask the statue. “Please, please show me that you are hearing my words!”… But there was no response.

One day, as Chandidas was preparing the ‘aarti’ (offering) lights, he heard a brushing sound coming from the other side of the worship hall. Turning around, Chandidas was struck by what felt like a lightening bolt to his soul. Was it the Goddess, herself? Well, that’s been the big question for over five hundred years. Because quietly working in the corner, partially veiled, was Rami, a young woman from the village, an ‘untouchable’ (the lowest caste), sweeping the temple floors. Chandidas gasped and whispered “Radha.” Rami lowered her almond eyes saying ‘Govinda, my Lord.”

And thus began one of the most remarkable love affairs in history. Chandidas, who had never written a single line of poetry in his life, began to record his romance with Rami with an incredible outpouring of songs of the love of Radha and Krishna; songs of ecstacy, songs of anguish, in the first person voices of both God and Goddess. Perhaps Rami wrote the songs with him, for the voice of Radha emerged even stronger and more clearly than did the voice of Govinda. Of this we’ll never know.

Meanwhile, there was another voice that began to scream and howl. The power structure of the village, the political and ‘spiritual’ elders, had become enraged at this blasphemous affront to the caste system, in the heart of the very temple itself. A Brahmin and an untouchable having an illicit affair!!! And cloaking it in the language of scripture!!! An outrage beyond compare!!! The two lovers were ordered to stop seeing each other. Rami was of course fired from her job at the temple and thrown back into her life of poverty and Chandidas’ every step was watched by the unblinking eyes of the town bosses. But did this diminish the path of true love? Not one bit. In fact, as they were forced to meet in more and more secrecy, the songs of Chandidas took on an even more mystical hue, invoking as they did the illicit, mysterious nature of Radha and Krishna’s divine love. But in a small town in 15th century India, secrets could not be kept for very long. Soon, Rami was banished and Chandidas was thrown into prison. Demanded to deny his love, Chandidas simple bowed his head and proclaimed the eternal reality of ‘Radha Ramana Hari.’ Tears streaking the dust and dirt of his face, the young Brahmin fell to the prison floor chanting the glories of the divine couple: “Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare.” What difference was there for him between his love and passion for Rami and the ‘Rasa Lila’ (divine play) of Radha and Krishna? Nothing could stop the river of love flowing from Chandidas’ very soul. And so, in the ultimate act of fear, the village elders tortured Chandidas, finally tying his limbs to four horses and tearing his youthful body apart. As his soul departed his agonized body, the villagers could heard the words: “Hare Krishna…. My Rami, My Radha!”…..

Today, centuries later, the love songs of Chandidas are still sung reverently and, yes, ecstatically, by the villagers, Bauls, and devotees of West Bengal. Praising the divine lovers, falling at the feet of the divine lovers and identifying with the undying passion of the divine lovers….. With tears of longing to feel just a drop of what Chandidas must have felt. To have just the tiniest taste of true ‘Bhakti’, true love…… I’ve seen with my own eyes these mystic Bauls singing Chandidas’ songs, dressed in patchwork robes, begging the Lord for just one crumb, pounding out rhythms on a small drum or even just a wooden table, plucking a one stringed ektara, and remembering one of the great heroes of love, Chandidas, and his beloved, Rami.

Most of us cannot even relate to this language – ‘Self-Love,’ it sounds like narcissism, like self-indulgence, somehow over the top and too much. And yet, when we look at its pure manifestation, it is the most important quality we can develop.

In truth most of us are rather removed from loving ourselves much of the time. We are in too much tension. We are burdened by conflicts and stress and there is an inner dialogue going on that does not let us relax. We are our worst critics and we rarely give ourselves a break.

If this describes you at least some of the time, ask your self, “How is it working for me?”

It’s a revealing question because it is not judgmental. It just invites an observation, a greater awareness of what works and what doesn’t. And if the way you have been conducting some of your life doesn’t work – change it.

That is where Self-Love comes in. Do you deserve to be happy? Please don’t answer this question so quickly. I know you want to say Yes, but look at your behavior, look at the way you have been treating yourself in those parts of life that are not easy for you: has it been an expression of Self-Love?

Are there areas in your life where you could be kinder to you? Where you could open yourself to a greater love than you have known? Go there. Pay attention to these aspects of your existence. These parts of you are like children starving for love.

You can use this imagery: is there a little boy or girl self in you that has his or her needs not met? This is true for most everyone and usually we try to ignore this inner need. It’s unpleasant to deal with and so we choose to lose ourselves in distractions.

But have you noticed, this inner voice will persist. And it’s better to listen to it now, before it grows a cancer or manifests in some other great conflict that cannot be overlooked.

You have the choice – make it now. There are so many ways to love. But how can you love if your heart is not open to you? Only as much as you love yourself can you love others and allow yourself to be loved.

It starts with a decision we have to repeat often at deeper and deeper levels of our being. A decision to do whatever it takes to gain freedom from the conditioning of old pain. This decision opens the door so we can remove what stands in the way of love, our stressful thoughts and emotions. And as we clear them, this inner well of infinite goodness, the Heart, opens and we can drink from it and its life-giving nectar can flow from us into the world.

We will become a light in this world, an increasingly awakened being, no longer conditioned by the inheritance of fear. Being love leads to giving love and giving love leads to receiving love. And the cycles of stress and fear are transformed into the ability to live and express what we truly are in the core of our being: pure love.

It is beckoning you. Will you listen? Will you do the work of clearing the conditioning of fear that keeps you in stress? Take a step today and another tomorrow and gradually but inevitably you will come to know the infinite source of love in your heart. It is the heart of God, your heart, the pulsing, alive core of your universe. It is calling to you to come to know your true Self.

And how can you do it? Associate with those in whom this flame of love burns brightly. Love and devotion are passed on this way, person to person, in a deep and fulfilling relationship where trust can build and the kind of friendship that can last for life times.

There are teachers like that. Seek them out, for that is the fastest way to get to know you. Love and let yourself be loved and all other things will fall into place. As the sun in your heart rises, all the shadows will dissipate. This sun is already rising.