Question: “Sometimes it is hard for me to feel my Heart. What can I do?”

Ram Giri: The mind has a tendency to run after distractions. This is caused by the subtle desires of the unconscious mind. It is an addiction that keeps the mind agitated and focused outward, away from the Heart. It is the greatest obstacle on the spiritual path and a source of tremendous suffering. Because of this unconscious and powerful mental addiction the soul is unable to know its true nature and freedom.

There are two answers to your question of what you can do. The first answer is consistent and patient practice, to discipline the mind by the use of HeartSourcing or other meditative techniques. Although you will not have a great experience every time you practice, the effort is cumulative. You cover a distance of 10,000 miles one step at a time.

The second answer is that inside your Heart is the presence of the Divine. Some people imagine it as a spark of the great light of God. This divine presence has a masculine and a feminine aspect. The masculine aspect is absolute Truth. The feminine aspect is absolute unconditional Love and Compassion. This feminine aspect is known as the Divine Mother, the Goddess. She dwells in all beings.

To free yourself from the addiction of the mind to the unending distractions of the world, you can turn toward this all-compassionate inner presence. In the sublime psychology of the higher mind that we know as the ancient wisdom of India, this tendency toward distraction is known as the (inner) demon Mahisha. The (inner) Goddess is known as Mahishamardini, “She who kills the demon of distraction” and so sets you free. This means that it is the very function of your inner Divinity to set you free. She exists for that purpose.

This tendency to distraction, ignorance and subtle desires is a knot in the Heart (kama granthi). When the inner Goddess frees us of this powerful ‘demon’ this knot is destroyed and the Heart opened by the ascending power of kundalini. This awakens in us great spiritual and material prosperity and good fortune.

But there is a quality to love we have to remember: love never forces itself. So if you want that presence of powerful divine Love to come to your aid, you have to activate it by asking the Goddess to set you free of the distracted mind. This should be particularly easy for women who are the manifestation of Her form in the world. But men as well have within themselves this great power of self-liberation. So whether we are in a male or female body, we can turn to our own nature in the form of this absolute motherly love.

If but for a moment we can put pride aside, we can find in the depth of us a place of childlike surrender. It’s been there ever since we were very small children. Later we may have developed a litany of problems with our mothers, but let’s just leave all this aside for a moment. Deep in us is the pattern of this trusting surrender, and now we activate it not toward another being (who may leave us) but toward the presence of absolute motherly care in us. This makes this surrender completely safe.

This asking to be freed of the demon of distractedness is surrender. Instead of years of psychotherapy or austerity, instead of pounding on heaven’s doors, try to simply turn to that motherly presence in your own Heart and ask to be set free. Instead of being a hero in your quest for peace, try to be a child for now. Be simple and egoless, just for a moment. Find that place of trust in the divine in you that will be fulfilled.

This place of primal trust exists in the depth of your Heart. Evoke it there. It is just a simple and honest asking. You can do it now. You do not have to wait until many years of accumulated pain give you enough despair so you finally discover this place of surrender. No, surrender is easy. It’s child’s play. For a moment be that child of the Divine Mother in you and ask Her for help, and She will unfailingly give you that help. She will give it to you in Her way and in Her time, but it will unfailingly come and you will be free to live out of the unobstructed purity of the unlimited Love in your Heart.

“As the pace of our lives continues to be accelerated by a host of forces seemingly beyond our control, more and more of us are finding ourselves drawn to engage in meditation, in this radical act of being., this radical act of love, astonishing as that may seem given the materialistic ‘can do’, speed-obsessed, progress-obsessed, celebrity-and-other-people’s-lives-obsessed orientation of our culture. We are moving in the direction of meditative awareness for many reasons, not the least of which may be to maintain our sanity, to recover our perspective and sense of meaning, or simply to deal with the outrageous stress and insecurity of this age. By stopping and intentionally falling awake to how things are in this moment, purposefully, without succumbing to reaction or judgment and by working wisely with such occurrences, with a healthy dose of self-compassion when we do succumb, and by our willingness to take up residency for a time in the present moment in spite of all our plans and activities aimed at getting somewhere else, completing a project or pursuing desired objects or goals, we discover that such an act is both immensely, discouragingly difficult and yet utterly simple, profound, hugely possible after all, and restorative of mind and body, soul and spirit.

It is indeed a radical act of love just to sit down and be quiet for a time by yourself. Sitting down in this way is actually a way to take a stand in your life as it is right now, however it is. We take a stand here and now, by sitting down, and by sitting up. It is the challenge of this era to stay sane in an increasingly insane world.”

– Jon Kabat-Zinn from chapter “A Radical Act of Love” in his book “Coming to Our Senses: Healing Ourselves and the World Through Mindfulness”

Three aspects of spiritual life are precious to guard and develop: devotion, enthusiasm and the focus on enlightenment.

Devotion to our teacher and our highest goal is the source of all blessings. We may think that this is because when we have devotion we are good and we deserve to receive blessings, but that is a minor consideration. Rather it’s that our devotion opens us so we become capable of receiving the blessings that are always ready to come to us. Devotion is entirely for our benefit. It focuses mind and heart onto what is essential.

Enthusiasm is what drives us on and what increases with each forward step we take. Even when we’re in a deep valley we can still maintain this passion for enlightenment; perhaps then it comes in the form of the yearning for the end of suffering. This is perfect, for suffering can create powerful motivation.

The focus on enlightenment, on awakening to our true nature, is the great goal of life and the more keen our focus becomes, the straighter will be the path we travel. The straighter the path – the less suffering. The less suffering – the more peace, bliss and truth. The more peace – the more compassion and the more we will be able to share with others the grace of our beings. If we can remember our aspiration for enlightenment a little bit more each day, then before we know it, our life will become a thrilling adventure and it will be nurturing and uplifting to all around us.

We were going to examine the thought “Something terrible is going to happen.” And please let me make clear that this is for those who want to find the truth. It’s certainly not for everyone. Most people want to believe what they believe, even though it causes them pain. So if you want to find the truth, this may be for you.

Okay, here comes the inquiry. It consists of 4 questions and the turn-arounds (for more see: http://skillsforawakening.com/solutions/the-work-of-byron-katie-2/)

Here is the first question: “Something terrible is going to happen.” Is that true?

Stop for a moment and go inside. Is there a Yes or a No?

When you have found your answer go to question # 2 - Can you absolutely be certain that it’s true that “Something terrible is going to happen.” Yes or No?

Good. Now let’s go into depth. Question 3: How do you react, what happens, when you believe that “Something terrible is going to happen?”

Spend a moment to really explore how you react when you have this thought. For instance: What feelings arise with that thought? What past or future images do you see? (Close your eyes, see them, feel, relax and observe). How do you treat people when you believe that? What world do you live in with this thought? What addictions or obsessions manifest with it? What other thoughts come up? Take your time to answer this.

And now question #4: Who would you be without the thought: “Something terrible is going to happen?” Close your eyes. Picture yourself without the thought. What is it like? How do you feel? Feel that.

Then one Turn Around: “Nothing terrible is going to happen.“ How is that as true or more true for you? Give yourself 3 or more real examples. Contemplate. Take your time. (Notice if you stay in your business here or not) Make it real for you. Only what’s true for you counts here.

Can you find another Turn Around?

Good. We’ll continue tomorrow.

Let me leave you with a thought by Mark Twain: “The worst things in my life never happened!”

See you tomorrow,

Ram Giri

PS: Please remember if you live in South Florida, come to our afternoon Seminar on the topic in Key Biscayne (more here: http://skillsforawakening.com/events/)

We think of it as inevitable, but that is not true. Suffering arises in the unquestioned mind and spreads from there. It is an ingrained habit, no more. And we can change habits.

Our thoughts run into the past and the future, imagining what was and could go wrong. Observe it. These regrets and worries are not ‘problem solving’, they are ‘problem creating’. They are the habit of old and future pain. None of it is real. One, the future, has not yet happened, the other, the past, is over.

What is real is the Now. Can you be here for it? And when you are, look, what is there to worry? And what old hurt would you voluntarily carry there?

Yes, suffering is an ingrained habit. Let’s change it. That’s how we become part of the change we want to see in the world.

For more go to: http://skillsforawakening.com/teachings/#03

The Israelites showed us how it’s done. 40 years in the desert with nothing but their faith to support them – my God that was no picnic!

Picture them, the whole tribe walking along. Up ahead the courageous ones, the explorers, ready to conquer the scary unknown. Then the whole mass of the people, the old ones, women and children. And at the end the stragglers, the weak and the sick.

That’s how we move toward enlightenment, all of us. We’re a whole crowd, every one of us, all the different parts moving as fast as we can into the light.

Look, there is your courage and strength moving ahead and there is also your weakness, your pain, your arrogance, blindness and shame, lagging behind. These are the parts of you slowed down by the five poisons (or kleshas), confusion, anger, desire, pride and envy.

So now picture yourself as Moses. You’re in charge to get the whole convoy of yourself moving along. Where do you put your attention? It’s fun to deal with the fearless explorers and with the crowd in the middle that knows to party every night when you make camp.

But as the best of leaders, I bet you’ll pay special attention to the stragglers, won’t you? Because you know that the whole of you can only move as fast as they move.

There is no point in giving them pet talks. They are already moving as fast as they can. Better to relieve them of some of their burdens, purify them of those poisons. They are bogged down by stressful emotions and thoughts that are giving them pain. Have patience; show them compassion. Be kind to yourself and clear and determined in your spiritual work.

Show them, one by one, how they can put down their burdens. Make that your main focus and the whole procession of you will speed up. You will move along in a unified way, everyone will feel better and you’ll get to the promised land right on time!

Another morning. But before I open my eyes, I lie still and deeply feel inside. And a recognition arises.

There is in us a presence of which we are often unaware. You have your own name for it, the presence of God, or reality, of the soul. For me it has the feeling of Maharajji, my guru.

And I lie there almost still asleep and very still, and it is there. This presence (His presence for me) is the deepest and most real way we can experience ourselves. And it is so far beyond all the identification with ego, our history and planning and pain. It is the pure essence of Self.

There it was, so pure and complete. And at that moment I knew that all life is nothing more or less than the process of this essence awakening us from the inside.

Can we let go enough of our self-effort to allow it to do its work?

Can we be open to this unspeakable grace?

One of the greatest books of the wisdom literature of this planet is the yet little known “Vasistha’s Yoga.” The following is a quote from it regarding self-inquiry and the Heart:

If one has achieved even a little bit of control over the mind by self-enquiry, such a person has attained the fruit of his life. For that self-enquiry will expand his heart.

This of course is exactly what we are doing with the Skills for Awakening. Vasistha continues:

When such enquiry is preceded by dispassion [or: detachment] and has attained stability by practice, all the noble qualities resort to it naturally. Ignorance and its retinue do not bother one who is fully established in self-enquiry and who sees what is, without distortion. When he has found his foothold in the spiritual ground, he is not overcome by the robbers known as sense-pleasures.

Practicing self-inquiry with The Work gives you that stability. You can first observe it by noticing how you react less to situations and people that used to upset you. You become calmer, more peaceful and in control of yourself. This is a control without force, a natural peacefulness and mastery. This is true knowledge. It frees us from the constant distractedness of the undisciplined mind that is craving for and running after sense pleasures. Notice that there is nothing wrong with pleasures; it is the desire for them that throws you off balance. In true peace you can enjoy whatever comes, may it be labeled ‘good’ or ‘bad’. This is dispassion, the foundation of lasting peace. In that peace the Heart can be wide open.

I hope you enjoy this, please let me know.

Ram Giri

A quiet mind is all you need. All else will happen rightly, once your mind is quiet. As the sun on rising makes the world active, so does self-awareness affect changes in the mind. In the light of calm and steady self-awareness inner energies wake up and work miracles without effort on your part.
- Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

Here is an entry from my friend Jai Uttals’ blog at http://jaiuttal.com/blog/:

The “Bhakti Movement” in the US these days is kind of strange to me. Wonderful, but also, weird. Wonderful because more and more people are experiencing the incredibly passionate joy of singing God’s names; and weird because, as Americans, we seem to feel the need to make it ‘special,’ and make ourselves ‘special’, and use Madison-Avenue type names to label and increase our ‘special-ness.’ We throw around words like ‘bhakti,’ ‘bhava’ and ‘ecstacy’ as if they are ice cream flavors or new types of kombucha. But in India, where all this stuff comes from, these words denote deep spiritual states, attained by only a few very lucky and very devoted souls who then become inspirations for the rest of us. When we in the west get together for an evening of Kirtan everyone is so eager to ‘get off,’ to have a super high euphoric experience, kind of like a rock concert…. This is fine, I suppose, but it’s just sooooo different from what we experience in a small temple in North India, where the devotees feel like they’ve been chanting for lifetimes and lifetimes, oblivious to the highs and lows, riding the waves of emotion and mood, resting in deep longing and fulfillment and surrender, awaiting God’s mercy. Is ‘Bhakti’ just a ‘high?’ A cool, blissed-out experience? The great ‘bhaktas’ (devotees) of old all write of an immense love and an even greater dependence on their beloved’s response. “My Lord, I’ve done nothing to deserve your embrace, but please come to me anyway!!!” Oh well. Maybe I’m just an old curmudgeon, too hard on myself and thus too hard on everyone else…

Here’s a true story of ‘Bhakti’…… (I probably have many details of this story incorrect, and I thought I would do some research before writing it. But instead I’m just diving in. Please forgive any historical or theological errors.)

In a dusty desert village in West Bengal, in the 15th century, sat an old but still very active little temple to the Goddess. Day in and day out, for hundreds of years, the poor villagers had been prostrating themselves there to ask for better harvests, more sons, and more money; in other words, relief from their suffering. To some the Goddess responded, but to most She remained mute. As in all Hindu temples of that time, a young Brahmin (someone from the highest, priestly, caste) was engaged to officiate the prayers and offerings, and to distribute ‘prasad’ (consecrated food). Chandidas, as he was called, was deeply committed to his tasks, yet he was confused by what he perceived as the Mother’s callous ignoring of Her children’s requests. “Are you really there?” he would ask the statue. “Please, please show me that you are hearing my words!”… But there was no response.

One day, as Chandidas was preparing the ‘aarti’ (offering) lights, he heard a brushing sound coming from the other side of the worship hall. Turning around, Chandidas was struck by what felt like a lightening bolt to his soul. Was it the Goddess, herself? Well, that’s been the big question for over five hundred years. Because quietly working in the corner, partially veiled, was Rami, a young woman from the village, an ‘untouchable’ (the lowest caste), sweeping the temple floors. Chandidas gasped and whispered “Radha.” Rami lowered her almond eyes saying ‘Govinda, my Lord.”

And thus began one of the most remarkable love affairs in history. Chandidas, who had never written a single line of poetry in his life, began to record his romance with Rami with an incredible outpouring of songs of the love of Radha and Krishna; songs of ecstacy, songs of anguish, in the first person voices of both God and Goddess. Perhaps Rami wrote the songs with him, for the voice of Radha emerged even stronger and more clearly than did the voice of Govinda. Of this we’ll never know.

Meanwhile, there was another voice that began to scream and howl. The power structure of the village, the political and ‘spiritual’ elders, had become enraged at this blasphemous affront to the caste system, in the heart of the very temple itself. A Brahmin and an untouchable having an illicit affair!!! And cloaking it in the language of scripture!!! An outrage beyond compare!!! The two lovers were ordered to stop seeing each other. Rami was of course fired from her job at the temple and thrown back into her life of poverty and Chandidas’ every step was watched by the unblinking eyes of the town bosses. But did this diminish the path of true love? Not one bit. In fact, as they were forced to meet in more and more secrecy, the songs of Chandidas took on an even more mystical hue, invoking as they did the illicit, mysterious nature of Radha and Krishna’s divine love. But in a small town in 15th century India, secrets could not be kept for very long. Soon, Rami was banished and Chandidas was thrown into prison. Demanded to deny his love, Chandidas simple bowed his head and proclaimed the eternal reality of ‘Radha Ramana Hari.’ Tears streaking the dust and dirt of his face, the young Brahmin fell to the prison floor chanting the glories of the divine couple: “Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare.” What difference was there for him between his love and passion for Rami and the ‘Rasa Lila’ (divine play) of Radha and Krishna? Nothing could stop the river of love flowing from Chandidas’ very soul. And so, in the ultimate act of fear, the village elders tortured Chandidas, finally tying his limbs to four horses and tearing his youthful body apart. As his soul departed his agonized body, the villagers could heard the words: “Hare Krishna…. My Rami, My Radha!”…..

Today, centuries later, the love songs of Chandidas are still sung reverently and, yes, ecstatically, by the villagers, Bauls, and devotees of West Bengal. Praising the divine lovers, falling at the feet of the divine lovers and identifying with the undying passion of the divine lovers….. With tears of longing to feel just a drop of what Chandidas must have felt. To have just the tiniest taste of true ‘Bhakti’, true love…… I’ve seen with my own eyes these mystic Bauls singing Chandidas’ songs, dressed in patchwork robes, begging the Lord for just one crumb, pounding out rhythms on a small drum or even just a wooden table, plucking a one stringed ektara, and remembering one of the great heroes of love, Chandidas, and his beloved, Rami.

Most of us cannot even relate to this language – ‘Self-Love,’ it sounds like narcissism, like self-indulgence, somehow over the top and too much. And yet, when we look at its pure manifestation, it is the most important quality we can develop.

In truth most of us are rather removed from loving ourselves much of the time. We are in too much tension. We are burdened by conflicts and stress and there is an inner dialogue going on that does not let us relax. We are our worst critics and we rarely give ourselves a break.

If this describes you at least some of the time, ask your self, “How is it working for me?”

It’s a revealing question because it is not judgmental. It just invites an observation, a greater awareness of what works and what doesn’t. And if the way you have been conducting some of your life doesn’t work – change it.

That is where Self-Love comes in. Do you deserve to be happy? Please don’t answer this question so quickly. I know you want to say Yes, but look at your behavior, look at the way you have been treating yourself in those parts of life that are not easy for you: has it been an expression of Self-Love?

Are there areas in your life where you could be kinder to you? Where you could open yourself to a greater love than you have known? Go there. Pay attention to these aspects of your existence. These parts of you are like children starving for love.

You can use this imagery: is there a little boy or girl self in you that has his or her needs not met? This is true for most everyone and usually we try to ignore this inner need. It’s unpleasant to deal with and so we choose to lose ourselves in distractions.

But have you noticed, this inner voice will persist. And it’s better to listen to it now, before it grows a cancer or manifests in some other great conflict that cannot be overlooked.

You have the choice – make it now. There are so many ways to love. But how can you love if your heart is not open to you? Only as much as you love yourself can you love others and allow yourself to be loved.

It starts with a decision we have to repeat often at deeper and deeper levels of our being. A decision to do whatever it takes to gain freedom from the conditioning of old pain. This decision opens the door so we can remove what stands in the way of love, our stressful thoughts and emotions. And as we clear them, this inner well of infinite goodness, the Heart, opens and we can drink from it and its life-giving nectar can flow from us into the world.

We will become a light in this world, an increasingly awakened being, no longer conditioned by the inheritance of fear. Being love leads to giving love and giving love leads to receiving love. And the cycles of stress and fear are transformed into the ability to live and express what we truly are in the core of our being: pure love.

It is beckoning you. Will you listen? Will you do the work of clearing the conditioning of fear that keeps you in stress? Take a step today and another tomorrow and gradually but inevitably you will come to know the infinite source of love in your heart. It is the heart of God, your heart, the pulsing, alive core of your universe. It is calling to you to come to know your true Self.

And how can you do it? Associate with those in whom this flame of love burns brightly. Love and devotion are passed on this way, person to person, in a deep and fulfilling relationship where trust can build and the kind of friendship that can last for life times.

There are teachers like that. Seek them out, for that is the fastest way to get to know you. Love and let yourself be loved and all other things will fall into place. As the sun in your heart rises, all the shadows will dissipate. This sun is already rising.

People often wonder how to reconcile the Buddha’s teachings on non-attachment with those on love. How can we love others without being attached to them? Non-attachment is a balanced state of mind in which we cease overestimating others’ qualities. By having a more accurate view of others, our unrealistic expectations fall away, as does our clinging. This leaves us open to loving others for who they are, instead of for what they do for us. Our hearts can open to care for everyone impartially, wishing everyone to be happy simply because he or she is a living being. The feeling of warmth that was previously reserved for a select few can now be expanded to a great number of people.

–from Taming the Mind by Ven. Thubten Chodron, published by Snow Lion Publications

I shared with you this recent experience of finding myself in the Assembly of Sages (see my last post: http://blog.skillsforawakening.com/blog/the-true-meaning-of-guru). It is still with me every hour of each day. Amazing how a 3 minute vision, sitting in front of my computer with my eyes closed, can change my life! It shows me that the most sacred space is within. Let’s meet there, you and I!

If you’re open, it is awe-inspiring to be in the presence of an enlightened being. I’ve had the grace of this experience repeatedly in this life and I speak of it with the greatest reverence. I share it with you because it is rare and extremely important – how else are we going to know what each and every one of us is capable of?

Now imagine being in the presence of a large group of such beings! It is not possible to put into words being with one – how much more impossible to describe many! It is impossible because by definition the awareness of a realized being is transcendent, surpassing the realm of words and of concepts.

But it does not surpass the realm of the Heart. Indeed it enlarges it for us. (That is why it is so transformative to read and hear about the lives of the Saints). And  – call me a fool – although words cannot describe what I am about say, I will try anyway.

I stood in front of this large group of enlightened beings. My awareness was riveted on them. I forgot myself for a moment and I saw in this expanse of light before me how they were bathed in a transcendent joy, a lightness of being that was extraordinary.

I realized they did not take their individual existence for real. Yes, they were distinctly separate beings – on the outside. But internally I could ‘see’ the awareness of the One shining through. The One reality, the One divine presence, the absolute simplicity and truth of our Being.

This sublime awareness shimmered in their presence. It was a visible essence, expressed by the profound joy that emanated from this group of sacred beings. They lived in a state of internal bliss, which left them free to appear as ordinary as any of us on the outside – but internally, what a difference!

Perhaps you can get a taste of this experience, now as you read about it, or as you recall it later. This is how blessings of the Heart spread. They spread through stories, from one open Heart to the next. So perhaps this vision can become yours too, just by the telling and hearing of it.

This is one of the ways how love spreads.

As soon as the word ‘guru’ entered the Western world it was misunderstood. Although we have a perfect example of what the word means in the figure of Jesus, we still could not understand it.

And so we reduced it and reduced it until now everyone who knows (or pretends to know) anything can call himself a guru. You can be a diet guru, a wall street guru, and internet guru, and so on. So that’s where we are now.

But let’s go back to the original meaning. Let’s try to get a glimpse of what a real guru might be. To illustrate I want to tell you what just happened to me yesterday.

I had the grace to be given an amazing experience and I am still in the grip of it. I hope I can put it into words to do it justice. Knowing the limitation of words, I most likely can’t. But you can make your own movie of it…

(Why in the world am I telling you this? Because an internal voice is urging me to, so I have no choice. It’s always a little scary to make such very personal experiences public. Are people going to think I am crazy? Oh well, they will think what they think.)

In a moment of – you may call it daydreaming – I saw myself go through a door and enter a vast space where I encountered an ‘assembly of sages’. I’ve seen pictures of such assemblies before, particularly on Tibetan scrolls, and I’ve read about such things in the Indian literature. But I had never seen such a thing.

It was breath-taking. There, in front of me, arranged in a semi circle were perhaps 80 or so completely free beings. I felt their presence. It elevated me. It made me feel light and free myself. But mostly I was in awe.

Then, on the left, I saw my guru (Neemkaroli Baba, Maharajji) walk toward me. Meeting him in a vision or dream is always an extraordinary experience. It is like meeting the deepest part of me, the very core of my heart come to life.

He came close and we stood side by side as the sages looked on. For a moment, being so close to him, I felt the difference between us. I stood there with my usual fears and hang-ups and self-doubt, feeling a sense of insecurity, a subtle anxiety and timidity. In other words, all my insufficiencies, that I usually hide so well, came to the surface.

He on the other hand was solid as a rock. No, I should say he was solid as the center of the earth. That’s how I have always known him. Solid, radiating complete unconditional love and completely present for me.

He was and is the perfect mirror for me. With him I get to see my challenges as well as what I really am, which, in the end, is no other than him.

And then the most amazing thing happened. He touched me with the side of his body and I felt all this anxiety and fear and self-doubt leaving me. It was being physically pushed out of my being. And in the place of it came the feeling I had of him, this complete loving solidity, which is also completely transcendent.

In other words, he exchanged my fear for his love, my self-doubt for his complete security, my shaky self-sense for his power of heart. I felt as if I was being remade that moment, as if the old self with its problems was being exchanged for a new model.

Just like that.

I was completely passive in that. There was nothing for me to do. I stood there, in front of this assembly of sages, like a new-born creature – and then they did it too. They too gave me a part of their being. They too freed me of a part of myself that was never true. What a gift. I am still stunned.

Now, of course I’m back in my ordinary everyday state of mind. And I’m wondering: who am I now? I don’t feel very different – but no, that’s not true. I’ve noticed that I am less prone to believe my own mind.

I can see my ‘stuff’ more clearly, my anxiety, my shakiness, the way I tend to depress myself. These old habits that used to repeat themselves quite automatically are more visible now and with that I am giving them less power. When I don’t believe my own story of how bad things are – well, then they just aren’t that bad.

This is an example of the love, power and grace of a true guru. Since it just happened yesterday, I am sure I will keep finding out the effect it has on me for quite some time.

One thing I know: my gratitude is enormous. And that in itself is an amazing gift.

I want for you ( – if you want that) to have an experience of such a being, of such closeness and grace. Perhaps it is Jesus for you. But it could be any sacred being that you have an affinity with. There is no competition among the liberated. Freedom is freedom and true love is true love. And they exist only to share it with us.

Just get them ‘out of the books’. They are not a story of who once lived here. They are alive today. They are available to us. They simply wait until we notice, until we are awake enough so we enter this sacred relationship they offer to us.

And you have it in you, this grace; we all do. We’re just usually too busy to become still and to listen and feel inside. When you do, you may discover wondrous things. You may discover a whole world of love.

How does it start? Some day you have an experience and your world shifts. Suddenly – or gradually – you come to realize that Spirit is true, that there is a dimension of grace you can enter. At that moment God steps out of a book and becomes a real presence for you (even though you may not relate to a God, which is fine.)

The result is: You have entered spiritual life.

This experience can be a moment of deep inner peace, of being fully alive in the here and now; it may be an experience of emotional harmony or a great opening of the Heart. These are the kinds of decisive experiences after which your life may never be quite the same.

Then we go on a journey. We lose the experience and want it again. A yearning has been awakened. What can we do?

We learn about spiritual practice. We sit still for hours, turn our bodies into pretzels, make pilgrimages to teachers or shrines and especially read lots of books. It is all good.

And where do we end up when we finally arrive where we are going?

We end up once more in deep inner peace, being fully alive in the here and now; we feel again that emotional harmony or that great opening of the Heart.

We return to where we began, in grace, in the breath-taking presence of Being or God. Inside ourselves. In the core.

We end up where it all began – wiser, much more solid, our mind peaceful, our Heart vibrant, big and alive.

The journey is a cycle from you to you, from now to now. You get lost in the middle, even while trying to find yourself. You want to shorten the time it takes to get back to what you are seeking. You are confusing yourself by your seeking.

There are 10,000 things to do while trying to get back to that place of pure grace. Most go in circles. Which are the few that take you straight back to yourself? Which ones dissolve the internal tensions that keep you in internal exile from grace? Which ones can nurture you so deeply you get the stamina to face your own demons – and not in 10 life times, but now?

This journey is not a walk in the park, you may have noticed. It is the greatest adventure bar none open to human beings.

On this road you will have to face any terror your mind can dream up and overcome every habitual pain and confusion.

And the payoff is eternal life. No cheap goal by anyone’s standards.

So again the question: what can take you there? What can give you the access to the pure essence of this highest goal?

Perhaps not surprisingly it is the pursuit of the experiences that began it all. The experiences you will be established in when you have arrived, when you have crossed the ocean of confusion and pain to the other shore of divine bliss.

The essential practices are to step directly into the Promised Land. To stop the 10,000 distractions – and yes, even those that are labeled ‘spiritual practice’ – and enter the Heart, which in its unlimited richness is always waiting for you to come home.

Always waiting. Still waiting. YOU are in there, still waiting.

And I know, so many will read these words and not understand. So let me say it again:

Your Heart is available to you this moment. It is as far from you as the Now. It is the central core of space, as the Now is the core of time. The core contains everything. Why not return to that core in you now?

Oh no, so many say, “I have to continue my sadhana, my spiritual practice” and they wind their legs around their ears and sit their bottoms flat and read the 20^th book that tells them the same thing they cannot hear: It’s inside you now!

So go there! But you can’t. Your thoughts and emotions get in the way. You follow them rather than your hidden instinct that says “Stop it all. Stop. Listen to what he is saying. Let it come in. Maybe there is something to this…”

There are 3 skills you need: Clear the mind quickly and effectively. Bring your confused emotions to harmony. And drink from your Heart the Essence of love that you are secretly aching to feel.

It is the best kept secret in the world. It is secret because we keep it secret from ourselves. We have become lost in a trance state. Somehow we can say the words and believe them; “It’s all inside.” And still we don’t look. Still we don’t become still enough to feel the ravishing Heart Essence. Still we are lost.

I sit with people and I see myself in them, the way I was: tense, the body shifting, the mind not at rest. There is no space for peace to get in. There is no rest in pure love.

Not yet.

But if you want it, stop. Stop now. Make a huge foolish decision to love yourself absolutely! It makes absolutely no difference what people think of you.