Life will let me down – or not?
Life will let me down – or not?
I’m in a mopey mood and finally sit down to check in with myself and try to find out what’s going on. I discover this old thought; it’s something like “Life will let me down,” or “God will let me down.” Depressing.
Then I realize what I am doing. I am letting myself down by believing this and promptly fall into the familiar trance of inner turmoil.
Well this pattern is lighter now and doesn’t stay around for so long anymore. What used to last for weeks, now only takes minutes sometimes.
So what’s the reality here? I ask myself. And then I see it: I am letting myself down. It’s such an old habit – and of course as long as I have this blind belief inside me I have to project it onto life and onto God.
The reality is that life and God have never let me down. Never. It was always me. I’ve let me down by believing these fearful, depressed thoughts and then suffering the effects of my thinking. Only I can let myself down. And as soon as I see this, I don’t have to do it anymore. I fall into the old nightmare only when I’m unconscious enough to believe my own thoughts.
Now I feel better!
Thank God for not letting me down and allowing me to learn what I can do to free myself, to question my thinking. How God/life supports me, even through the density of my confused thinking!
And once more I realize that gratitude is the only appropriate response to seeing clearly. We are always in the presence of grace. And sometimes we can’t even see it.
Namaste,
Ram Giri
Mar 16, 2010
It was always Me!! The starting place for realization.
The reality is that life and God have never let me down. Never. It was always me. I’ve let me down by believing these fearful, depressed thoughts and then suffering the effects of my thinking. Only I can let myself down. And as soon as I see this, I don’t have to do it anymore. I fall into the old nightmare only when I’m unconscious enough to believe my own thoughts.
Mar 16, 2010
A very dear friend living in the UK was recently accused of molesting a teenage girl on the bus. He is a very innocent man and would never in a million years act in this inappropriate manner. People who meet him can see what an innocent being he is.
He has also been a swami in an Indian organization of great repute.
So we were certain that there was nothng to worry about and that it would all blow over. When the meeting with the magistrate took place this past Monday we were shocked at the verdict. Guilty.
For the life of us we cannot understand this. We say that it obviously is some karma – and maybe some good will come out of it. It remains to be seen.
Any comment?
Mar 16, 2010
Just wanted to let you know that your post is not showing up properly on the BlackBerry Browser. Anyway, I’m now on the RSS feed on my laptop, so it works!
Mar 17, 2010
Thanks for letting us know, will check it out!
blessings,
Ram Giri