Secrets of a Spiritual Relationship: 3 Fundamental Truths about Love

Posted on April 15, 2014

by Ramgiri Braun

the creator of HeartSourcing meditation!™

More and more people are realizing that many of the basic assumptions we learn about how relationships and marriages work are just dead wrong. Perhaps you are one of them. Perhaps you have gone through breakups or conflicts and swore to do it better next time, only to see the same trouble repeat itself. This is what I hear all the time.

If you’re fed up with experiencing the same old pain, then you can stop making cosmetic changes and free you of the true causes of conflicts in your relationship. This will require a bit of reflection and a willingness to step out of the worn out patterns of thoughts and behavior that have never worked and never will.

We are raised to believe that love will come from prince charming, after the knight on the white horse rescues the damsel in distress. No, we don’t believe in fairytales anymore, but our subconscious expectations are still the same. We believe that unless we have the right partner, love will remain a distant dream.

Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact that belief itself does more to destroy relationships and marriage than any other. The truth is exactly the opposite: realize that LOVE is the abundant reality of your being and the right partner will come to you like a bee to honey.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers
within yourself that you have built against it.”
-Jalal ad-Din Rumi  (Persian poet and mystic, 1207-1273)

These are three secrets of a spiritual relationship:

1.     All the love in the world comes from inside. It comes from inside the heart of the person that feels it! Picture yourself falling into the arms and eyes of your lover—ahhh—and where do you feel your love? Not over there with him or her, but right here in your own chest. This is one powerful feeling and it arises from within you, always.

All the love you can ever experience comes from there, from the innermost place in you, the heart cave. In your very own heart, there lies the potential for all the love that is possible. None of the great lovers we know of, no Jesus or Buddha or Mother Theresa have had more potential than you. They’ve just used it differently.

They didn’t get confused and believe that love came from ‘out there’ somewhere. No they found its source inside of them and they learned to tap into that source and to use it. And, by the way, today most spiritual people are married. There aren’t enough deserts and mountain caves to hold us all, so we have learned to live with each other, and creating vibrant, deeply loving and spiritual relationships is part of the way we are transforming the world.

2.     You don’t have to manipulate to find love! You don’t have to work so hard to attract, get, keep, win, capture and tie down a lover. Why?

– First of all this is not a safari. Your lover is not an animal. If you treat him like one, don’t be surprised if he’s not happy in captivity!

– Secondly, if you depend on his/her love, approval, and acknowledgment to feel good about yourself, it will lead you to be dependent and manipulate for attention. This is fear-based behavior and it will lead only to pain. Security, harmony and self-esteem are do-it-yourself sensations. If you want from your partner what only you can give you, you put them into an impossible situation and you will both lose.

– Thirdly, if you put on a mask to be pleasing to your partner, he may fall in love with what you pretend to be. He will love what you are not. Somewhere under that mask you will know it and feel unloved and terribly lonely. And when, every so often, parts of the hidden self show up, angry or disappointed at not being known, don’t expect him to love that. Consider what the outcome will be if you start the deal with a lie, a pretense, a deception?

Simply because almost everyone manipulates and pretends, doesn’t mean it can work. There are reasons why most relationships fall far short of the love we are capable of. We are talking about these reasons.

The most attractive thing about a person is their authenticity. When you can be who you are, you are naturally fulfilled and others will notice. There will be a shine around you, but you won’t care. It is just the natural way you are.  To be authentic is an expression of wholeness within yourself and it is a precious gift you can bring into your spiritual relationship.

To find that place of comfort and security inside you need to free yourself of all the stressful thoughts and feelings that make you believe you are somehow not perfect the way you are.

“Love is not based on desires that say you need something you don’t already have.”

The greatest secret is that:

3.     Love is what you are. Pure, divine, and unconditional love is the expression of the true Self. That’s why it feels so good to us. That’s why there is nothing that can compare with the genuine openness of the heart. This is the love everyone hungers for, whether they know it or not.

You can find this great love in your innermost self. Cultivate it there; it will be small at first and gentle, always completely appropriate to your capacity, always completely safe. Drink from that inner source and let it heal everything about you that is based in fear, the fear that somehow you are lacking, that you are unlovable, and there will not be enough for you. Stop believing these lies and realize who you actually are!

There are simple steps to overcome your habits of self-doubt and self-rejection and to open the door to the true source of love within you. And HeartSourcing is one of them. It is a simple yet profound practice to connect with that unconditional acceptance in you. I offer on my website 10 days of HeartSourcing meditations, at no cost. You can sign up and receive it daily on your inbox.

I invite you to learn about HeartSourcing Yoga TM and to embrace a new understanding of how to get and keep love by discovering your eminently lovable Self. It is the most attractive and the most important thing you can do.


With love and gratitude,


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